Get weekly updates via email!
tip of the day FRI 01 AUG 14
Nix the patterns and go for solid colors when you choose pants--they make your hips and backside look smaller.
  • Good House Keeping
    The July issue is our Makeover Special! Be inspired by the weight-loss successes of The Biggest Loser’s Kayen Lazaro and Osie Nebreja, who entered the reality TV show simply wanting to lose weight but ended up gaining whole new (healthier!) lives.
    Good Housekeeping
  • Women's Health
    Jumpstart your best body today with this month’s best foods special. Women’s Health shares over 100 of the best packaged foods for women, sourced from leading supermarkets, specialty stores, and delivery services.
    Women's Health
GIRLTALK

Author Topic: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)  (Read 20640 times)

minikeyklush

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« on: September 18, 2010, 11:37:42 AM »
quote from an article to this blogspot:

http://lovestoryblog.com/index.php?
option=com_myblog&show=pseudo-relationship.html&Itemid=30

Pseudo Relationship

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang. Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon(sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangangaliwa
kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro." Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na
may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong setup ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Mostly, ang rationalization ng mga napasok dito, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.

Ang maganda doon, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang nagmamahal ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask siya to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo or mangsundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the others, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him/her? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him/her you love him/her, you can't. Because you're not sure if s/he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and that someone hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him/her, not entertaining others, only to find out that s/he is seeing other girls or boys?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that that someone is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable girl, a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya� almost, but not quite.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2010, 11:40:06 AM by minikeyklush »
"maybe getting over someone youre in love with isnt impossible. Unless, maybe you dont actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it....." - Felicity

lesters_gal

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 2104
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2010, 06:09:23 PM »
im into this kind of relationship right now...kailangan talaga maging matibay ka..wag dapat ma fall para hindi masaktan in the end....
~dOnT hAtE mE bEcAusE im bEaUtifuL~

minikeyklush

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2010, 08:43:53 PM »
@sis lesters gals, i hope u wont mind me asking, really? panong arrangement nyo sis? :-\ OMG
"maybe getting over someone youre in love with isnt impossible. Unless, maybe you dont actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it....." - Felicity

lesters_gal

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 2104
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2010, 09:30:03 PM »
Nag usap kami sis.he's older than me kasi.17 years ang age gap namin.sabi nya I'm too young for him.natatakot daw sha na baka masaktan daw kaming dalawa in the end.sabi ko naman sa kanya wag sha mag worry kasi ako I'm not ready to enter in a relationship right now after my painful break up with my ex.as of now I just want to have fun lang.I even told him he can go out with other girls din if he wants and so am I.we text and call din everyday.tapos once a week I sleep at his place.we're like couples din.we had dinner every friday or saturday.we watched movies etc. pero no I love you's nga lang...no commitment...

This is my first time to enter into this kind of set up.I just wanna try lang...so far ok naman kami...I just keep on praying
Lang na sana wag ako mainlove sa kanya...
~dOnT hAtE mE bEcAusE im bEaUtifuL~

minikeyklush

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2010, 09:55:28 PM »

This is my first time to enter into this kind of set up.I just wanna try lang...so far ok naman kami...I just keep on praying
Lang na sana wag ako mainlove sa kanya...

mahirap yan sis, may mga bagay na ngyayare out of our control,, basta be ready for consequences lang sis, masakit yan pag nagend ng di tama, ive been into that situation till now, im still in the process of coping up. and still praying pa din na malampasan to..  :( bsta sis,watever happens ready lang..
"maybe getting over someone youre in love with isnt impossible. Unless, maybe you dont actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it....." - Felicity

lesters_gal

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 2104
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2010, 10:01:35 PM »
^yes I know sis.actually nag umpisa na nga ako mag entertain sa ibang guys lastweek.LOL. :) kasi alam ko pag nag focus ako sa kanya talagang ma fafall ako.

What's your story sis.share naman if you don't mind. :)
~dOnT hAtE mE bEcAusE im bEaUtifuL~

minikeyklush

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2010, 11:37:26 PM »
What's your story sis.share naman if you don't mind. :)

sis same as yours din walang commitment ang difference, may girlfriend yung guy, at first kasi akala ko maeend ko yun for fun pero sadly, nafall ako, kaya lang i know na he wont ever choose me over his gurl, bsta long story sis,, hehe,, if you want we can talk it over privately, sms or ym's..hehe sobrang gulo nun, ngayon im starting to moved on, tlagang pinilit ko na maicut yung communication namin sana tlagang magawa ko..i really loved that guy, kaya i want him to be happy kahit di nako part nun.. so un hehe  ;)
« Last Edit: September 18, 2010, 11:41:21 PM by minikeyklush »
"maybe getting over someone youre in love with isnt impossible. Unless, maybe you dont actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it....." - Felicity

aquacharly

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 4587
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2010, 11:51:21 PM »

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya� almost, but not quite.

... so you go into it coz it makes you happy.. BUT in the same breathe, you say most probably, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak, and you should have no expectations.   
So?  Why put yourself in harm's way para sa pansamantalang kilig? 
The ROI doesn't look promising.

Why not be BFFs instead?
IMO, a BFF is better than any pseudo-BF;  a BFF is a keeper; like for forever.
A BFF will not break your heart into pieces; he will help you pick up the pieces of your broken heart.     

caterpillar-girl

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 1127
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2010, 01:14:21 PM »
I got into this when I was younger. It was fun for a while, until one of you gets attached, and then it's no longer fun. I guess that's what happens when you play with feelings. Feelings have a funny way of playing the game right back at ya.

Being in a steady, committed relationship is much more fun, for me. But I suppose some people need to go through a process to realize that, even if that process involves heartbreak.
"Like a bird on the wire / Like a drunk in a midnight choir / I have tried in my way to be free."

minikeyklush

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2010, 06:50:33 PM »
Being in a steady, committed relationship is much more fun, for me. But I suppose some people need to go through a process to realize that, even if that process involves heartbreak.

agree with you @sis catterpilar-girl  ;)
"maybe getting over someone youre in love with isnt impossible. Unless, maybe you dont actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it....." - Felicity

sweetsorrow

  • a wife, an engineer and certified
  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 890
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2010, 07:06:19 PM »
what's wrong with this setup is when you start expecting. Masaya kung sa masaya kasi you can do whatever you want pero girls kasi ang madaling ma-inlove kaya lugi tayo kapag nasa ganito tayong relationship.
Blah blah blah!

minikeyklush

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #11 on: September 20, 2010, 08:51:09 AM »
what's wrong with this setup is when you start expecting. Masaya kung sa masaya kasi you can do whatever you want pero girls kasi ang madaling ma-inlove kaya lugi tayo kapag nasa ganito tayong relationship.

yes and talagang big risk if hindi talaga natural player yung mga gurl maiinvolved sa ganitong set-up, it will surely be a big heartbreak for her...  :(
"maybe getting over someone youre in love with isnt impossible. Unless, maybe you dont actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it....." - Felicity

barbwire

  • happy in love
  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 138
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #12 on: September 20, 2010, 09:52:55 AM »
Another opinion why some opt with pseudo relationship is that. The guy/girl is not at par to their ideal standard. Example girl is professional her ideal guy is somehow like her or mas mataas pa professional, more financially stable, graduated from reputable school etc. But this girl met a guy, newly graduate and a neophyte in his career. However, this guy makes her happy, loves her and definitely their personalities are compatible. What happens, the girl opts for a pseudo relationship, because she has the feeling of having somebody yet not committed to him. She can say to her circle of friends that he is not a boyfriend in order to avoid the questions and all. She can justify to herself that she is still holding on her ideal standard because she is not committed with this guy and in no way their relationship will progress into engagement and marriage. 
Intelligence plus character equals success...

Miss u SNOW.

sweetsorrow

  • a wife, an engineer and certified
  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 890
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #13 on: September 20, 2010, 11:18:20 AM »
bihira kasi sa babae ang pagiging player. If she knows how to play the game of love, others will think that malandi 'yung babae or something. Mahirap naman if we will play with our feelings. Basta in the end, dito sa pseudo relationship hindi palaging win-win..
« Last Edit: September 20, 2010, 11:21:09 AM by sweetsorrow »
Blah blah blah!

minikeyklush

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2010, 11:18:40 AM »
bihira kasi sa babae ang pagiging player. If she knows how to play the game of love, others will think that malandi 'yung babae or something. Mahirap naman if we will play with our feelings. Basta in the end, dito sa pseudo relationship hindi palaging win-win..

agree with you @ sis sweet sorrow.. kasi sa madalas, puso ang pinapairal naten we act based on how we feel,, so pag nafall talagang all the way yung pagpapakita natin ng affection.. Babae talaga ang mostly talo sa ganitong set-up.  :(
« Last Edit: September 21, 2010, 11:21:20 AM by minikeyklush »
"maybe getting over someone youre in love with isnt impossible. Unless, maybe you dont actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it....." - Felicity

Frozen Toes

  • Baby Beast &
  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 1439
    • Gym Sweetheart
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #15 on: September 21, 2010, 03:29:37 PM »
Why not be BFFs instead?
IMO, a BFF is better than any pseudo-BF;  a BFF is a keeper; like for forever.
A BFF will not break your heart into pieces; he will help you pick up the pieces of your broken heart.     

There's a term for a male BFF -- gay boyfriend or gay husband. :) The tradeoff in going purely platonic is intimacy. And I think the need to be close to another is as primal as the need for nourishment.

I'm a firm believer in the pseudo-ness of it all. My last relationship ended sometime in oh-seven. It was traumatic and now, three long years later, I still don't think I can commit. Thus, I do the pseudo (would've been nicer if do and pseudo rhyme).

Anyway, being in this type of relationship is kinda like using a tampon for the first time. It will bog you down and maybe even hurt you. It will test your patience and push you to assume positions completely alien to you. (And yes, it can get messy.) However, with some practice, you'll get it right. And you'll wonder how you ever survived without it.

But maybe that's just me. :)
« Last Edit: June 03, 2013, 12:00:17 PM by Frozen Toes »

einah08

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 109
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #16 on: October 05, 2010, 03:55:01 AM »
i'm currently into this kind of relationship.. hays!

minikeyklush

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #17 on: October 05, 2010, 08:56:00 AM »
i'm currently into this kind of relationship.. hays!

@sis einah08 what happened? share naman jan sis.. hays :-\
"maybe getting over someone youre in love with isnt impossible. Unless, maybe you dont actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it....." - Felicity

einah08

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 109
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #18 on: October 05, 2010, 10:35:52 PM »
^ bago pa lang din naman sis.. mag-2 months pa lang kami na ganito.. actually biglaan lang din, we started as friends.. then all of a sudden bigla na lang na we were into each other na pala..

hindi pa namin mafinalize kasi he was having a problem pa with his ex, na kakilala ko din.. medyo magulo pa yung situation nya dun, naghahabol pa kasi yung gurl.. and they were together din for 8 years..

Ayun, i'm just waiting for him to clear things with her ex.. sana maayos soon..

minikeyklush

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 189
Re: Pseudo Relationship --> POV's nyo about this girls :)
« Reply #19 on: October 06, 2010, 09:15:05 AM »
mahirap nga yan sis @einah08...pagpray mo nalan sis and intindihin mo nalan din for as much as you can yung ex nya, matagal din kasi sila..we should've known na di talaga madali lahat iaccept na nagend na lalo na gnun na katagal.. :( pagpray mo nalan sis na things will fall into their right places in Gods time. :)
"maybe getting over someone youre in love with isnt impossible. Unless, maybe you dont actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it....." - Felicity

 

ADVERTISEMENT
follow us
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Featured Articles
5 Steps to Financial Fitness in Tough Times
Instead of grumbling about the plight of the peso and dwelling on the negative, try these helpful tips to stay afloat. Remember--a little discipline goes a long way!
You're the breadwinner: Now what?
You want the freedom to spend your money as you wish but you know that if you don’t bring home the bacon, no one else will.
Getting money-wise: Why women are naturally capable of managing cash
She works hard for the money but she doesn’t know how to invest it. Here, Pearlsha Abubakar tells us why women are capable of managing their money well, but don’t. Read and get smart with your money.
Never go broke again! The FN guide to financial freedom-forever!
Fear not bankruptcy or eternal dependence on your parents (or a man!). There's a financial strategy for everybody. Read and get money-wise.
Wise up: Start your own business!
Tired of living from paycheck to paycheck? Why not go into business? Read on and find out how just a little cash can become a lot.