Question: What triggers men to propose or not to propose for marriage? :)

[prettykhae]

hi sis!

both men & women can answer this so we can see different perspectives:) 

Funny because this came to my mind just now that i'm getting married in 2months time I asked my h2b this question and he answered, he felt that he's "ready" for married life.  What should be the next level in a relationship but to get married and have a family.  In other words, "level up" na daw dapat! 

sis, parang ganyan rin sagot ng bf sa akin! i asked him, bakit mo gusto na ako makasama mo for life? dahil ba ur at the [textspeak!] age na at nagkataon na ako ang gf mo [textspeak!] now or mahal mo lang talaga ako. he answered me back na, PAREHAS LANG DAW UN. LOL.

[pretty.sinful]

Difficult to answer since each guy would have different reasons for popping the question. Let me take a shot at this. Please feel free to add or to rebut the list I made off the top of my head.

1. She gets pregnant.
2. His hairline starts to recede.
3. He starts dyeing his grey hair.
4. All his friends are married and with families of their own.
5. The women he wants to date are half his age.
6. People start asking if he's gay.
7. When his sperm motility drops below the normal range.
8. When his girlfriend of 10 years threaten to leave him because the subject of marriage hasn't come up yet.
9. When his parents threaten to cut him off their will if he doesn't give them an heir.
10. When he finds it too difficult to read without his reading glasses.

nakakaloka naman to. parang lahat negative yung reason ng guy to get married. hahaha. if that will be the case, better be single forever. mahirap ang napilitan.

[Patren]

That which makes a man "not propose" is quite easy. Usually it's either he doesn't love you, does not love you enough, doesn't love you that much YET, or would rather ruin his future all by himself.

That which triggers a man "to propose" is another thing. It's more complex and I think it varies guy to guy.

Though the most popular reason is "you're carrying his baby" .... which is a common practice.

Beyond that, I think it's more or less a combination of "finding a sense of fulfillment with you" and "not wanting to lose you". Lose you or Lose whatever it is that he loves. Ideally, which I'd still like to believe happens in a lot of cases, it's all about the realization of how much love he feels for the girl, how much he needs to sustain that which he feels, and of course the male-popular-trait of "selfishness" which translate to him never wanting to lose the girl. Logically, there has to be a selfish element naman talaga for it to be believable, maybe even reliable up to a certain extent.

Of course there are other reasons. Like sometimes it's not entirely out of love but out of Need. Practically speaking, some guys look for the perfect or ideal mate based on who would probably make them better KINGS. Which translates to a miserable time for the 'sucker' who usually was too young, to needy, or too dumb to see past all the glittering stuff the abuser blinded her with.

This is the most sensible reason for me. Guys will know/feel it when they are ready to settle down. 

[FrogPrincess]

what if he says that he wants to get married na but cannot propose YET because he's still preparing the budget for the wedding, and he wants to make sure first na kaya na nya i-finance ang gastusin before slipping the engagement ring on you finger? 

[stacies83221]

Men propose: (according to h2b)
- once they feel that they are ready- emotionally, psychologically and financially for married life
- love for the girl and he can imagine himself starting a family and growing old with her. (sustaining and nurturing the relationship)

Men don't propose: (according to h2b)
- he doesn't love you or dooesn't love you enough
- girl is immature at obviously doesn't love him back. wag daw kukuha ng asawa na parang bato na ipupukpok mo lang sa ulo mo

[prettykhae]

what if he says that he wants to get married na but cannot propose YET because he's still preparing the budget for the wedding, and he wants to make sure first na kaya na nya i-finance ang gastusin before slipping the engagement ring on you finger? 

ay nako sis, may mga boys talaga na nasa tamang edad na pero dipa ready financially. at pati emotional aspect. hayzzz...

[iristacey]

Re: 1. She gets pregnant.
But I guess that's the most popular trigger nowadays.. like when we announced our wedding, 95% of the followup questions go: "Buntis ka?" LOL.

that was commonly asked of me din. bakit daw kame nagpakasal, hindi naman daw ako buntis.

Men propose: (according to h2b)
- once they feel that they are ready- emotionally, psychologically and financially for married life
- love for the girl and he can imagine himself starting a family and growing old with her. (sustaining and nurturing the relationship)

Men don't propose: (according to h2b)
- he doesn't love you or dooesn't love you enough
- girl is immature at obviously doesn't love him back. wag daw kukuha ng asawa na parang bato na ipupukpok mo lang sa ulo mo

agree. i think it is more on men's readiness, and if you are the girl he is most comfortable and sees his future with, then he might really settle with you.

[FrogPrincess]

^^sounds like you're in the same situation sis ah 

di bale at least they are mature enough to admit na di pa totally ready and good thing is he's working on it VERY HARD 

[Red Rack 21]

Based on observation, men do not subscribe to the notion that love and marriage go together like horse and carriage. They do not see commitment as an expression of love or an extension of "caring" the way women like us do.  In the boyish mind, timing rather than emotion or wanting to  settle down  seems to generate commitment. In short, it could be he loves the pants off you. But ready to marry, he ain't. And it's really readiness, not love, that settles a man down.

[tinsantos10]

I've read this on facebook:

How men propose: "Will you marry me?"
How women propose: "I'm pregnant."

Lol.

[gurlygirltoo]

My husband said that it's timing and the right girl. 

[ciacia18]

I read somewhere that it's all about timing daw. Mafeefeel nang guy if it's time to settle down.

He can be with a perfect girl, but if it's not the right time hindi siya magpopropose. If it's the right time, even if he's with an "okay lang girl"
Magpopropose yan.