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Author Topic: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..  (Read 8154 times)

chinita14

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4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« on: July 26, 2010, 12:53:22 PM »
i am so disappointed to what happened to our 4 years, 4 months, 4 days relationship.. he was my 4th bf.. everything went well.. we even talk about getting married just right after we have the budget.. we plan on having kids in the future..

we started out as friends.. i am in the process of moving on with my ex then when we got close.. he became my most reliable guy friend.. he's always there for me to give me advice.. to comfort me.. then the time came that he told me that he likes me.. he wanted to court me.. i was a bit hesitant because i know for sure that i am not ready yet.. but he insisted i should give him a chance and he will help me move on..

he's angry to my ex because i was very hurt by what he did to me.. he cheated on me.. he said, he's not like him.. and so i believed..

he's everything to me and i was everything to him.. we compliment each other.. he's my best friend.. we never had an argument or fight that lasted overnight.. everything has been settled before the day ends.. i have been a part of his family and so is he.. so i thought this would never end..

i easily get jealous.. i don't know why.. maybe it's a girl thing.. he keeps on telling me that i should stop acting like one because i am the only one he loves.. and he will love me forever..

i don't have an idea that we are falling apart.. then the time came that  he told me that he doesn't love me the way he did before.. i tried hard to work on that.. i told him that i will do everything he wants just to keep the love alive.. i told him i would change things that he doesn't want on me.. after a week, he told me it's over..

he said he's tired of me being jealous.. he said he needed time to think.. he said there is no girl involved.. so i believed..

after a week when we parted ways, i visited his family.. just to say thank you and goodbye.. it's hard.. because i feel that life will never be the same again.. they asked me what happened.. and i did tell them.. they told me maybe he needs space to do things on his own.. i said, i already gave him the freedom to do so.. when i was about to leave, his aunt told me that there is someone else.. i freaked out.. i couldn't believe that he can do this to me.. he should have told me right away.. i told his parents that i will wait for him to go home.. i just wanted to hear it straight from him..

we talked, i think i hardly know him.. he's so cold.. he's different.. i asked him if there is someone else, and he admitted it.. he told me she understands him better than i do.. it killed me.. he is throwing away everything that has been shared for 4 years.. how can he be so sure that that girl will understand him for another 2 months? i just wanted the best for him.. and i know he can do better than what he is doing right now.. he told me that the girl accepted him the way he is.. i also did.. from the day that we started out as friends.. and will always be..

i was hurt.. very bad that i wanted to end my life.. i felt like i am being stabbed by the person i love most..

i am now ready to move on.. i know it's a long process but i already accepted the fact that he is now happy with someone else.. i just wish him well.. i hope he'll have plans to find a better job and not just stay on where he is right now because his new girlfriend is okay with it.. i want him to be a responsible man.. i care about him very much.. i still love him.. even if it hurts..  :'(

I cried when I knew I lost you, afraid I had lost it all. Then I realized that losing you, didn't have to mean I lost me.

aquacharly

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2010, 11:56:28 PM »
I am glad to know you did not end your life because of your heartbreak.
I am glad to know you are in the process of moving-on.
I am glad to know you were dumped for a girl, not another man... that may make you raise more questions doubting your perception and ability to hold a man.

No, I am not being flippant/callous about your experience... I just want you to  :)  and think that yes:  things could be worse than what they are now..
            like being dumped for another man
            being pregnant and alone
            being his wife.. and left behind

Pray for strength that you do not falter with your moving-on.  God bless

spartan

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2010, 12:15:06 AM »
Sinakal mo eh. ayun naghanap iba.

it ended because of you, not because of another girl.

may next time naman, learn from our mistakes....


aquacharly

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2010, 12:19:12 AM »
^  Yan ang mas magandang commentaryo on your heartbreak.

     Learn and know thyself better.
     For unless and until The Lesson is learned, History repeats itself.
     hwag na sana ha.

Vera

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2010, 12:26:06 AM »
Being jealous does not equate to "wanting the best for him" -- Most of my femme friends are jealous type, yung paulit-ulit ang selos, minsan sinasabi ko... "wait... stop... please stop coz I don't want to hear it anymore..." at usually walang reason ang pagiging selosa.

My hard and fast rule: if, after everything that I did (esp not being jealous), the guy has the nerve to hurt and leave me for someone else, I'll make sure he won't get an iota of my time and will leave him instantly.

It's important to be self-sufficient emotionally, physically, and, yes, financially. Para next time, you won't anchor your happiness on someone else. Good luck!

divine dreamer

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2010, 03:56:51 AM »
nalungkot ako sobra sa story mo sis.. :(
i'm in a 7 year relationship and parang di ko alam ang gagawin ko pag sa akin nangyari yan... :p
but you seem to be a kindred spirit.. walang hurtful feelings towards your ex.. walang catty comments about the girl.. :)
i admire you for that.. :)
and please do not think there is something wrong with you... the thing is, when you get in a relationship dapat willing kang tanggapin everything about a person.. and this goes for your ex also.. dapat tanggap niya na selosa ka talaga.. hindi naman kasi reason yun to break up.. that's something na mapapagusapan naman kasi eh..
it takes two to tango nga diba.. so don''t even think it's entirely your fault.. kahit landiin naman kasi siya kung hindi siya magpapadala hindi magiging sila eh.. malamang niyan inentertain na niya yung girl habang kayo pa.. but atleast he has the decency to break up with you.. kesa naman magtwo time.. :)
kung mahal mo talaga ang isang tao, you'll both work on your differences and problems and hindi yung easy way out nalang.. hanap nalang ng iba..
so malamang wala na siguro talaga siyang nafifeel for you..
i wish the best for you sis..
*hugs*


chengkii

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2010, 04:23:09 AM »
Be thankful it's over, sis.
That man didn't even have the balls to tell you that he had another prospect at the start. IN a week's time, sila na agad?

But I am happy that you are now moving on. Good luck.
For every action there is an equal reaction. :)

ysa.belle

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2010, 05:01:37 PM »
You love him. He loveD you.
Tapos na. I know it hurts and mabuti naman that you are moving on.
Okay na rin yan kesa yung nabuntis ka niya at iniwan. Pm ka lang if you need someone to talk to. Nasaktan din ako noon, gaya din ng mga Gt sister naten. Iba ibang way lang tayo nasaktan. Ako, I can relate sayo.
♥ Life is a journey from one point to another. You know where you will end up, but you don't know what route will get you there... ♥
 :)

kirsten19

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2010, 05:16:05 PM »
Hi Sis Chinita!

It's really hard at first. But as time goes by u'll be ok. God has a reason for it. You may never understand it now dahil hurt ka pa din pero you will in His perfect time.

I encountered the same situation two years ago. Sobrang bitter pa nga ako that time. Pero now I am very much ok. Happy with my life and contented with what I have right now. Sad to say, [textspeak!] ex ko na iniwanan din ako for another girl, ngayon eto bumabalik cya and asking for a second chance. Kaso I can't love him anymore dahil I'm already committed to someone else. He even said na cya lang daw kasi talaga [textspeak!] g**o dahil iniwan nya ko pero nagsisisi na cya. But it's too late.

Marerealize din naman un nung ex mo [textspeak!] pagkakamali nya. All you have to do is to prove to that guy kung ano ang nawala sa kanya. *wink*

Good luck to you sis. I hope that you will get over with it. God bless!
Be who you are and NEVER EVER apologize for that!

isobel

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2010, 09:07:12 PM »
it can't be just one person's fault. selosa nga si girl, but the guy let another girl into his heart when he still had girlfriend. what should have stayed between them, may nakikihalo, so the prospects of things becoming OK between the girl and the guy has most definitely lessened.

mimiku

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2010, 03:30:48 PM »
I agree. It takes 2 to tango. But it's not your fault. Don't ever listen to those people who would shove things to your head na kesyo selosa ko or so it’s your fault why the relationship fell apart na. In the first place if he really loved you unconditionally, he should have accepted who you are. No matter how many faults you did during the 4 years as long as you know to yourself that you loved him with all your heart, you should be proud -- at least you were not the one who cheated or who broke your relationship. And I believed you tried hard to mend your ways even to the extent of trying to change in order to work things out, that should make you hold your chin up.

Time flies. People change. That’s the way things are. Right now, you’re still on the stage where you would question everything. Don’t blame yourself. It was never your fault.

Been there, done that. It hurts a lot. I got to the point were I almost thought of slashing my wrist. Pero in time you will get back again. It takes time. He hurt you pero remember “that of which will not kill you will only make you stronger.”

Take it from me. You will survive. =)
 
Sometimes I’m terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts. – Edgar Allan Poe

laviere

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2010, 06:36:57 PM »
chinita14 - i'm sorry to hear about what you went thru. my advice is, don't force yourself to be okay agad. give yourself time to wallow, to grieve, to feel sad about the end of the relationship. umiyak ka if you need to. but once you decide that you're ready to move on, yun na dapat yun. no looking back, no more tears, no more anger. pick yourself up and forge ahead.

i disagree with the sentiment na dahil sinakal mo, naghanap ng iba. i knew this guy whose girlfriend understood their need to grow together as a couple, but also separately as individuals. so never niya sinakal yung guy - she let him go out with his friends, etc. ayun, nangaliwa pa rin.

in no way should you blame yourself now if your guy cheated on you. may ganiyang mentality tayong mga babae - that if we did this, or that, maybe the guy would have stayed. sometimes we forget to see the plain reality that yung lalaki yung may problema. he probably wanted out, and used your jealousy as an excuse. that said - learn from your mistakes and grow from this experience. while a small amount of jealousy can be healthy, excessive levels naman is NOT attractive on a girl. be secure, be confident, and you'll attract a man worthy of you. Goodluck! :)



ylisza

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2010, 04:26:42 AM »
i know na super hirap ng pinagdadaanan mo girl kase nadanas ko na din yan.. super ganyan na ganyan din.. childhood friend ko din.. blah-blah-blah! we've been together for almost 8 years.. super perfect relationship.. buong mundo ko, siya lang..

hindi ko alam kung anong tamang sabihin sa iyo kase talagang kung love na love mo pa din siya, kahit na anong sasabihin ng mga friends mo sayo na pampalakas ng kalooban, pag maiisip mo siya e maiiyak ka pa din..

lahat na lang ng senti songs na maririnig mo feeling mo tumutugma sayo at sa nangyari. pag pupunta ka sa lugar na kasama mo sya, maiisip mo sya and you'll wish he's there with you. tapos kakain ka sa labas, mag isa ka, maluluha ka kase sana kasama mo sya.

as i write this, parang gustong pumatak ng luha ko kase nakikita ko yung sarili ko sayo. naiinis ako. bakit ganon.. pero alam mo, kailangan mo talagang maging malakas.. ang daling sabihin nito para saken pero dati pag ako sinasabihan nito e hindi mag sink in sa utak ko, pero sasabihin ko pa din sayo, kayanin mo girl!

siguro, for one thing, lagi kong sinusumbatan ang DIOS dati, tanong ako ng tanong bakit ganon. sigaw ako ng sigaw sa kuwarto ko ng GOD hindi ko na po kaya. gusto ko na talagang mamatay. hindi ako kumakain. sobrang namayat ako. my mom was also crying with me kase for the first time nakita niya ako na sobrang devastated. i've got pictures pa nga e, nakita ko lang just last monday. grabe! para akong patay na buhay. kase nagkaroon ako ng madaming sakit.. lalong lalo na yung sakit sa dugo, hindi ko inalagaan ang sarili ko kase all i care about that time is to be with him, again. isip ako ng isip. hayst! there.. kawawa talaga..

sabi nila, hindi ka daw talaga makaka-move on kapag hindi ka daw ulit nagkaroon ng bf ulit. pero alam mo, saken lang ha, siguro dapat sa ngayon manahimik ka na lang muna. yun nga, tama yon na maging masaya ka para sa kanya. tapos after non, alisin mo lahat ng mga bagay na makapag papaalala sayo ng lahat tungkol sa kanya. iwasan mo muna makinig ng mga nakakalungkot na songs. tapos be with your family, wag na wag mong hahayaan na mag isa ka.

everything happens for a reason, alam mo na naman siguro yon. Yun pa, mag pray ka lang palagi. may awa ang DIOS sis, makakaalis ka din diyan sa sakit na yan. thankful ako sa kay GOD kase kahit na kung ano-anong pinaggagawa ko, pinagsasabi ko etc. pero nandito pa din ako and sa awa NIYA e hindi naman ako napabayaan. SIYA lang naman ang lakas natin.

since fresh pa naman yan, go lang girl, iyak lang.. pero wag sobra..

again, kaya mo yan. naiiyak na talaga ako.. take care sis, this too shall pass..
Gifted child. Blessed. Thanks be to God!

the fort

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2010, 07:49:00 AM »
mag 4years n kme ni bf and longdistance hai sana [textspeak!] wag mging gnun since malyo kme sa isat isa sis... bsta move on na [textspeak!] [textspeak!]...
misan lang kita minahal.pagkatapos nun ndi na natapos..!

petlovah

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #14 on: August 22, 2010, 02:36:28 PM »
I can fully relate to you and like sis ylisza, tears would like to fall from my eyes. I cant advice you anymore as what I am going to tell you are just the same as theirs.

Everytime I feel so alone and lonely, I will just take a deep breathe and pray and THANK God for the things. Yes, give thanks. Even if you feel the other way around. He could have been that someone you have been wishing for to be your future but as we always say, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. TRUST GOD. HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING. God is up for the best in us. God is good. God never let these things happen without any valid reason. There are things in stored for us, just give your trust to Him :)

If you need someone to speak with, I am here. Just pm me if you want us to meet ;)

Go girl!! :)
=)

chengkii

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2010, 02:37:38 AM »
CHINITA14 - how are you na sis?
For every action there is an equal reaction. :)

jeck43

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #16 on: September 08, 2010, 03:46:42 PM »
Bakit ba may mga girl na naninira ng relationship? Sabagay, pinaglalaban lang nila ang kanilang nararamdaman.  Sis, ito nalang isipin mo, "not meant to be".  Makakahanap ka rin ng lalaking magmamahal sayo ng buong-buo.  Kahit super selosa ka pa.  Yun ang true love.

brokensonnet

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #17 on: September 09, 2010, 03:50:14 PM »
were on the same boat... kagabi kaka-iyak ko lang... naalala ko [textspeak!] sakit ee :( gaya mo he dumped me for another... sa b*tch... kabit ni tito dati na shinota niya... di ba ang sakit? taz [textspeak!] b*tch may asawa pa sa pinas... naalala ko tuloy [textspeak!] pinag-daanan ko .... nakita ko sau yung dating ako.... may notes pala ko share ko sau...

has the person you love more than anything in this world left you? Have u been fooled and dumped for another? does s/he left you without saying goodbye or simply leave you hanging? masaket di ba? your heart ache and ache endlessly... well hindi ka nag-iisa been there... for so many time naging laman din ako ng Love and relation forum just to express the pain im dwelling.. to asked for some advices and tips on how to forget someone who used to love me...im struggling to cope with the pain for a long time and i wanna share this to you...kung pano ako nagtagumpay (somehow) hehee... inspired by lalort naisipan ko gawan ng topic [textspeak!] kantang ni share niya saken...our intention for making this topic is to COMFORT and gisingin those people who are in the same predicament but were not able to come out of it stronger... pag nahulog/nadapa ka... 2 lang naman choices na pede mo gawin ee either pakalubog ka or bumangon ka. if you choose the latter syempre first thing na maiisip mo gawin is to forget your ex... pero pano nga ba when its really hard to stop loving someone because they stopped loving you? madami ko nabasa... at sinabi mismo saken ng mga kaibigan ko... some suggests cry out loud...make your self busy... tapon mga gamit that will reminds you of him/her... avoid the romantic songs and movies... redecorate ur room... make yourself more beautiful... have fun and spend time with your friends..hehee easier said than done though because in reality forgetting someone is not that easy to do... gawin mo man lahat [textspeak!] tips na nakikita or sinasabi sau mahirap pa rin... you can have fun with your
friends but at the end of the day ul be alone again in your room and happy moments will voided in your mind...when laughter dies and ur all alone.. memories with ur ex and heartbreaks will haunts you again.. for me moving on doesnt mean forgetting someone... its about acceptance... deal with reality... its over now... stop hoping... stop dreaming..

2 lang din makakatulong sau para maka move on ka... sarili mo mismo... oo IKAW AT SIYA... syempre its hard to move on if you, yourself dont want to..if you really have the will to forget and move on... you can do it... (kaya mo yan huwaaa la lang sinabi niya din to saken ee ) let go then LET GOD... God DOES love you! More than you can ever imagine! HE makes people well again that have broken hearts and HE puts bandages on their injuries... (He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds -- Psalms 147: 3 ) and all you have to do is to TRUST HIM... Sa lahat ng mga broken ... i want you to hear this song... napakainspirational. .. nakakaiyak... http://www.freewebtown.com/brokensonnet/healing.mp3 MOVE ON... LIFE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO EMBRACE...hindi ka man mahal ni ex mo pero SIYA mahal na mahal ka NIYA.

brokensonnet

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #18 on: September 11, 2010, 03:01:21 AM »
broken link [textspeak!] song... pero eto po lyrics nun...

healing - Deniece Williams

Now that we have gotten through
One more fall
I can just admit I've got it all
Cause I do
Cause I've got you
We've crossed these battle lines to many times
It passes throught the heart
But it never leaves a mark

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasn't there before
In your arms
No pain can harm the way I'm feeling
Lord I know that Your love is healing

I've kicked around those lines in my head
But I've never listened to the words that You said
See where it's lead
Well I know I have it now
Cause You showed me how
And all I had to do
Was just to keep my eyes on You

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasn't there before
In your arms
No pain can harm the way I'm feeling
Lord I know that Your love is healing

[break]

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasn't there before
In your arms
No pain can harm the way I'm feeling

Lord I know that Your love is healing

sonncza

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Re: 4 year relationship ended because of another girl..
« Reply #19 on: September 12, 2010, 06:13:42 PM »
feeling ko sis ganyan din ginagawa ko sa bf ko ngayon, hay pero i have my own reasons
fake it till you make it

 

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