to the moderator: i hope i did'nt do anything wrong if i post this..... Just want to share this nice article about motherhood...... i read this at inquirer... i was also 24 years old when i got pregnant....http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/world/view/20100818-287377/I-was-just-24--and-had-a-million-and-one-things-planned
I was just 24, and had a million and one things planned
By Audrey Tan-Zubiri
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 22:05:00 08/18/2010
It never crossed my mind that I could be actually pregnant
MAMA! Mama! Mama!” Sometimes I have to remind myself that the toddler is my daughter and the mother she’s calling out is me. After all, it was not too long ago that I was the one constantly calling out “Maaaaa!”? But oh my!
Time really does go by fast and now I find myself in the hot seat of motherhood, not quite sure if I am ready for it but nonetheless enjoying every moment of it.
Looking back, I never doubted I would enjoy it. But truth be told, I did have my fears.
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. The signs were all there: I was constantly tired and sleepy; my clothes had suddenly become a tad bit snug, and the obvious giveaway—my heightened sensitivity to smells.
But it never crossed my mind that I could actually be pregnant! I was just 24 and had a million and one things planned!
So I continued on my merry little ways until the day my husband Miguel told me I was probably pregnant. I was complaining that he smelled like durian and insisting he take a bath or brush his teeth (again)—except that he hadn’t eaten durian.
The next morning, he had me take two pregnancy tests. Hello, avalanche of emotions!
I don’t know if it was just me or if every mother-to-be goes through that phase where yes, you know you’re deliriously happy at the prospect of having a baby, but you can’t quite feel it just yet because you’re also terrified by the prospects.
I felt I had just been thrown into a world where I didn’t know anything. And so, in the next eight months, I devoured every pregnancy and child-development book I could get my hands on.
But still, I would have dreams where I was carrying a baby who wouldn’t stop crying. (In another version of the dream, the baby would suddenly poop!)
I wondered how I would be able to wake up in the middle of the night, whether or not I was capable of being responsible for another person, and how this little being would change my life. And yes, I wondered whether or not I would ever be able to wear a bikini again.
Over the years, I had acquired some notions about motherhood, some good, others bad.
Fortunately, all the questions and doubts magically disappeared that first moment I held my daughter in my arms.
Actually, that’s a lie. They did disappear for about five minutes before they were replaced by a slew of other new questions and thoughts.
If we lived in a fairy tale, the anxieties probably would have all been forgotten, with those sleepless nights and baby blues.
Fact is—we don’t.
We live in an imperfect and oh-so-real world where every day brings new moments, both fun and challenging, all of them composing the kaleidoscope of experiences that is motherhood.
So fast forward to two years later. My daughter is now Ate Adriana to her three-month-old baby brother, Juanmi.
I can no longer remember what kind of plans I had to shelve the first time I got pregnant, and frankly, those I do remember, suddenly seem insignificant.
As for the others, well, additional degrees I want to earn and schools offering them will still be around 25 years from now, and businesses and work can be done on the side (though this is not meant to discourage anyone from pursuing career and education concurrently while raising kids or before starting a family), projects can be delegated, but I feel that being a mother—well that’s a job that cannot wait and that only I can do.
Textbook vs reality
I have to be honest though: There are moments I wonder what in the world I am supposed to do because sometimes, the books just don’t come close to the real situations that I, and my fellow new mommies, face.
Sometimes I wonder why nobody ever tells you about the challenges that lie ahead, from breastfeeding to balancing family and personal life, leaving one to think that you’re all alone, until you realize that everyone else has gone through it, they just never talked about it.
So that’s where all of these lead to—a little corner for all of us new young ones or once-young moms to share experiences and maybe, just maybe, shed a little light on what others are going through. Or at the very least, keep you company in the adventures of motherhood.
I’m no child expert. My college degree was all about communications and business management and with only two years of motherhood, I’m certainly in no position to claim complete knowledge of it.
I don’t think anyone will ever be a complete expert on the subject, though I do regard my own mom, Dette, as my personal golden standard when it comes to being a mother.
But one thing I know is this; Mama. Mom. Mommy. There are many ways to call a mother but there is only one woman who can respond to if for every child.
And what a privilege it is to be that one woman who rocks her child’s world in so many ways. So join me as we take time out to discover, nurture and appreciate the mommy in you and me.