How to deal with this pain alone?

[michipoo]

We just broke up. Hindi ko na kaya. At nararamdaman ko na hindi niya na ko kailangan kasi yun ang pinapakita niya. I cant even feel his love. masyado na masakit.. iyak lang ako ng iyak. I want him, mahal ko siya pero para sakanya parang sagabal nalang ako.

I deactivated my fb account and deleted all my friends there para if ever matempt ako na buksan ulit yun, wala na ko malaman na anything about him. kahit sa skype,ym, and ther online accounts. i deleted his number din, hindi ko kabisado number nya so there's no way i can contact him.

The thing is, I am alone. how can I handle this? yung pain. Ayoko magkwento sa family ko at sisters ko kasi ayoko na magalit sila kay ex. at ayoko nadin magkwento sa friends ko kasi alam ko sawa na sila makinig sakin dahil lagi na ako nagddrama sakanila about him. Wala ako malabasan ng sama ng loob. Di ko malabas yung sakit na nararamdaman ko.

[Mahal122898]

I am going thru the same thing sis.. Sa akin lang ako umayaw kahit pa ayaw ni bf.. Love ko pa rin na sobra pero nakakapagod na mga nangyayari.

The process of moving on is the hardest part in breaking up.  Wag mo iwasan, deal with it.  Tanggapin mo lang lahat ng pain.  And sabayan mo ng prayers.  You will be surprise sis everything will be alright. 

[sweety_paige]

Accept then choose to move on... Only you can help yourself.  Face the pain.

If they are really your friends they won't get tired of listening, that's what friends are for.

If you want, you can pm me, I can hear you out 

Pray pray pray...

[books_mags]

paulit ulit man, keep yourself occupied.  mahirap kasi lagi mo siyang maiisip but it's the only way for you not to go crazy.

[michipoo]

I know my friends are still ready to listen pero ako nadin nahihiya magkwento ng paulit ulit lang. on/off kami for many months now. i loved him so much. wala na natira para sa sarili ko. i always wanted to make him happy, pero yung happiness ko naman ang nakalimutan ko.

sisters- thanks so much. Kailangan ko lang talaga ng comfort ngayon na im so down.

[Beng01]

Hi sis michipoo. I can feel your pain. I had the same experience a year ago.

Tama iyang ginawa mo, dinelete mo lahat ng connected sa kanya, sa fb. Mas maganda rin kung inalis mo iyong mga things na galing sa kanya. Noong nagbreak kame last year, feeling ko sobrang liit ko at feeling ko kalahati na lang ako.

What I did was, alis ako ng alis, kahit tambay lang sa mall, basta makalimutan ko siya saglit, I also kept a diary, doon ko sinusulat lahat, after ko magsulat umokey na ko.

Nagluksa ako for two months, meaning puro iyak at drama mode.

If I were you eto gawin mo:

1. Dapat magkaroon ka ng 'pagluluksa' moment - isang linggo? isang buwan? dalawang buwan? Para mailabas mo lahat ng pain.

2. Labas ka ng bahay, parlor, read a book sa park. Or anything outdoor.

3. Wag ka muna magcheck ng fb, fs, email. Baka ma temp ka na contact-kin siya at iview profiles, or makausap anybody na connected sa kanya. Reason is para hindi ka magkaroon ng confusion, o baka maguluhan ka pa.

4. Ipamigay, itago, o itapon ang gifts from him. Ako ang ginawa ko binenta ko iyong iba, pianagregalo ko at iyong iba dinonate ko sa Ondoy victims. Getaway sa lahat ng things na reminds you of him.

5. Maghanap ka ng kausap, kahit sa text, girltalk, kahit aso nyo kausapin mo just to have 'someone to talk to'. Iba kase pag may kausap ka.

6. If there are times na kailangan umiyak, gawin mo. Pwede mo ding isulat sa isang notebook o diary ang lahat ng nararamdaman mo. Magsulat ka ng hate letters.

7. Pray na tulungan kang mawala ang pain.

Good luck sis. Iyan ang mga ginawa ko to move on. Now  I am okay 

We just broke up. Hindi ko na kaya. At nararamdaman ko na hindi niya na ko kailangan kasi yun ang pinapakita niya. I cant even feel his love. masyado na masakit.. iyak lang ako ng iyak. I want him, mahal ko siya pero para sakanya parang sagabal nalang ako.

I deactivated my fb account and deleted all my friends there para if ever matempt ako na buksan ulit yun, wala na ko malaman na anything about him. kahit sa skype,ym, and ther online accounts. i deleted his number din, hindi ko kabisado number nya so there's no way i can contact him.

The thing is, I am alone. how can I handle this? yung pain. Ayoko magkwento sa family ko at sisters ko kasi ayoko na magalit sila kay ex. at ayoko nadin magkwento sa friends ko kasi alam ko sawa na sila makinig sakin dahil lagi na ako nagddrama sakanila about him. Wala ako malabasan ng sama ng loob. Di ko malabas yung sakit na nararamdaman ko.

[Beng01]

Sis habang binabasa ko iyong post mo. Kinilabutan ako. Parang naalala ko kung gaano ako nasaktan. Kahit papaano naalala ko iyong sarili ko habang nag momove on ako. Napakahirap. At talagang naaawa ako sa sarili ko that time.

Noong mga 1st week ko, halos di ako natutulog sa gabi. Iyak lang ako ng iyak. Nag lalaro ng games sa cp para mapagod at antukin pero unfortunately di ako mapagod pagod, kaya puyat araw araw. Sa umaga naman, lutang ako. Sinamahan ko sa pagcocover ng doctors iyong friend ko, kung saan siya magpunta karay karay niya ako. Sabi ko, gusto ko lang may magawa.

Nagkaroon din ako ng favorite songs - Irreplaceable, If I were boy..

Basta sis, do all possible things para makapag move on ka. You may talk to me here sa GT. Willing ako kahit makinig lang.

[aquacharly]

I can understand why you do not want to talk to your sisters and friends about this.  Sometimes, because they love you and feel your pain too.. they do not give the best advice that will help you overcome this glitch in your life.  Yes, it is  painful - this kind of heartbreak, but you will 1 day just see it as a glitch. 

Talk to someone competent and non-judgmental.  You will get realistic help on how to view this heartbreak so that it  does not immobilize you.  PM you details.

Take care of yourself,  God bless.

[sweety_paige]

I believe na before you can make someone happy, dapat ikaw happy ka muna, you can't be effective in something that you alone can't practice for yourself.

Yung love I believe is a bottomless pit, you can share, share and share and yet hindi ka mauubusan niyan.  Once na na feel mo na nauubos na, there is something wrong, maybe most of the time one way lang kasi.

Love yourself, walang mas magmamahal sayo kundi sarili mo.

[petlovah]

it is true that you should deal with pain and not just go away with it. ive been through the same ordeal and until now i havent told my family about what really happened because i dont want them to be mad at him even if what he did were worth of every profane words i could even think of.

ako sa totoo lang, i pray. i go to an empty room and talk to God. i go to church and as much as possible to a church where nobody knows me kasi it is only then i get to cry and talk to Him with all my heart. i didnt want even to bring along my mom in the church kasi she would just see me cry.

take time to cry. let the pain out of your system. God will never leave you. You may not understand for now the reason why it happened, pero God has every reason for everything. Just trust Him i know how hard it is to let go but you should. thats the reality. try to cheer up

[michipoo]

@ beng- thanks sis for sharing what you did before. sa totoo lang iyak ako ng iyak talaga. Naawa din ako sa sarili ko at naiinis ako kasi bakit sinasaktan na nga ako at pinapaiyak pero nararamdman ko mahal ko pa siya. Naiinis ako kasi katangahan yun. Kasi habang nararamdaman ko na mahal ko pa siya, andun padin yung hope na maayos pa namin. I will make this week my 'pagluluksa' week and next week i will keep myself busy. sana makaya ko to at sana matiis ko lahat sis.

@aquacharly- thanks. got the pm. I will find time to visit her. I really need someone to talk to, someone who could open my mind to the reality.

@ paige - siguro nga kaya hindi na nagwowork kasi kahit ako hindi na masaya. sa totoo lang, mas madami yung pain kaysa happiness. Natatak na kasi sa isip ko na sakanya lang ako masaya. Parang kapag sa iba, hindi ako magiging ganun kasaya. Kasi what we had before(nung maayos pa kami) was perfect. LDR kami pero nakaya namin, bilib na bilib ako sa relasyon namin. kaya di ko matanggap na nagkakaganito na kami.

@ petlovah- ayoko din na magalit family ko sakanya lalo na my dad. ayoko din magkwento sa sisters ko kasi dati nakikita na nila ako na umiiyak because of him, at dahil dun naging malayo loob nila kay ex, gingawa ko lahat para mabuild up siya with my sisters kasi mahal ko siya, gusto ko mahal din siya ng pamilya ko. Kahit ganun siya I respect him at ayoko masira ang tingin sakanya ng ibang tao.

yes i will always pray. Makakaya ko lahat to. sana.

[Beng01]

Hi sis michipoo. Lahat ng nararamdaman mo, indenial, pain, anger -normal lahat iyan, at dadaan ka talaga sa phase na, 'baka magkaayos pa kame'.ü okay lang ang umiyak, basta maging totoo ka lang sa nararamdaman mo. Tama, give yourself a time 'to grieve'. Because after niyan, ang sarap na ng feeling. I know only time lang ang makakapgpawala sa pain na nararamdaman mo. Pero while 'nagluluksa ka' wag mo naman pababayaan ang sarili mo. This time think of your welfare. Goodluck sis michipoo. Kaya mo iyan. And lastly, magpray ka lang lagi. 

[em.em]

sis michipoo how are you na? mahirap tong pinagdaraanan mo ngayon especially walang ibang nakakaalam na malapit sa iyo. i understand the reason why, been there too so many times. but you know what sis? you are not alone. Firstly, God's watching you, He knows exactly the pain you're going through right now. He's just waiting for you to reveal your hurt to Him. Yung mga panahon na hirap na hirap din ako dahil wala ako mapagsabihan, I prayed to God and find myself venting my frustrations to Him. iniyak ko na lahat sa kanya, oras oras, ilabas mo na lahat lahat. mas okay nga sis kasi God won't judge you, hindi ka nya sisisihin, He will never be surprised or upset by your anger, hurt or your sense of loss over crisis. Pray, pray and pray. You can tell him exactly how you feel and trust Him to understand. Never stop praying sis. ang laking tulong nyan.
Secondly, Forgive. release those who have offended you. You're doing yourself a big favor sis if you forgive. mahirap pero you have to, don't let the pain and bitterness root into your heart, parang lason yan na sisira sayo.
and lastly,  re-focus your life. don't let anyone, particularly someone who has betrayed or hurt you, maintain a grip on your emotions. No doubt you're feeling angry, depressed and hurt but rather than dwelling on them, re-direct them. Tama yung mga sis natin dito, go out, sorround yourself with good loving people, find a new hobby or interest, yung mga bagay na hindi mo pa nagagawa na gusto mong subukan, sige go!
ewan ko ba kung bakit kapag sa ganitong problema na yung dumarating sa atin  we feel like we're being thrown around and turned upside down. mahirap sis, but you have to get back up. stand up and dust yourself off. life ain't over yet sis. Take heart.
 

[jmeangeL]

Magalit ka sa kanya... that's channeling your emotion into a different aspect...

Kasi kung iiyak ka ng iiyak at maawa sa sarili mo, you'll never move on.  Magalit ka sa kanya at magpaganda ka! Not because you want him back or any other guy out there.

You need to have your life back and having girl friends who are in complete agreement with that it's his BIG LOST, ang makakatulong sayo na ibalik sa dati ang buhay.

[auane]

I deactivated my fb account and deleted all my friends there para if ever matempt ako na buksan ulit yun, wala na ko malaman na anything about him. kahit sa skype,ym, and ther online accounts. i deleted his number din, hindi ko kabisado number nya so there's no way i can contact him.

i admire you sis kasi dito pa lang tinutulungan mo na ang sarili mo. may ibang tao na galing sa break-up, still hoping pa din kaya they put their communication lines open..masakit din maghintay sis and if the guy wanted you back kahit anong gawin mo, gagawa at gagawa siya ng paraan to contact you.

huwag magworry sa pain, it can keep you stronger. one day, you have to tell your family din what happened. don't worry sis, they'll help you, malalampasan mo di ito sis. malay mo, may parating na blessing sa iyo..

[mooncake and leaves]

i guess you just have to endure it. everyone naman, even your friends, absolutely no one can really fix this but yourself. ok lang yan. we've all been there. just take it one day at a time. and i don't believe you need to be angry to let go of the pain. grief doesn't really go away, that's the reality. but one day, it will no longer be the tv show you'll be glued to or watch reruns of.

watch breakup movies! lol that's what i did.

[phurple0515]

Mahirap talaga to deal with this alone. That happened to me before.  Ako naman kasi si masikreto rin kaya as much as possible I don't tell anyone about it.  Masakit, tipong masisiraan ka ng ulo kasi nga mag-isa ka lang.  What I did, I always get myself to do something else.  Nagpakabusy ako para lang di ko maisip ang lungkot tapos sa gabi, talagang dapat yong pagod ako para makatulog kaagad.  And of course, I prayed for strength lage. 

carry yan mga sis...mapapagod din tayo kakaiyak sa breakup natin.  Isipin niyo na lang na there is someone out there na mas deserving for your love.  At sabi nga nila, kung kayo talaga, kayo pa rin sa huli, there will always be a way na mangyari yon just don't think of it that much...come what may

[michipoo]

Hi siters. Thanks sa advices niyo. big help talaga

Update lang, he called me one night para lang linawin na wala na kami we said sorry, thank you and goodbye na sa ia't isa but the next day he called again na parang kami ulit. sinuyo suyo ako tapos nung medyo bumigay na ko, bigla siya nagiba as if tinetest niya lang kung makukuha niya ko ulit or not. Ang sakit kasi I thought magiging okay na. Well i guess, gaun na talaga siya, change comes from within talaga na kahit anong gawin ko para magbago sia, kung siya mimo ayaw niya magbago, wala na ako magagawa. Again umasa nanaman ako sa wala. It was so hard pero im getting used to it, i know after all this tears may kapalit to na happiness. Time will come he'll realize what he lost.

I cry pero hindi na tulad dati, masakit padin pero ginawa ko na inspiration yung friend ko na pinagdaanan din ang ganto at mas worst pa nangyari sakanya, but now sobrang happy na niya.

[sweety_paige]

^One day nasa iyo ang huling halaklak, minsan sa sobrang sakit kasi ng ginagawa sa atin ng isang tao, yung love na papalitan ng pain and the love can't cover the pain anymore, that is the time that you will finally say that it is OVER...

Marami ng nakaranas ng ganyan, nakayanan nila, I'm sure you'll do good.

[em.em]

Hi siters. Thanks sa advices niyo. big help talaga

Update lang, he called me one night para lang linawin na wala na kami we said sorry, thank you and goodbye na sa ia't isa but the next day he called again na parang kami ulit. sinuyo suyo ako tapos nung medyo bumigay na ko, bigla siya nagiba as if tinetest niya lang kung makukuha niya ko ulit or not. Ang sakit kasi I thought magiging okay na. Well i guess, gaun na talaga siya, change comes from within talaga na kahit anong gawin ko para magbago sia, kung siya mimo ayaw niya magbago, wala na ako magagawa. Again umasa nanaman ako sa wala. It was so hard pero im getting used to it, i know after all this tears may kapalit to na happiness. Time will come he'll realize what he lost.

I cry pero hindi na tulad dati, masakit padin pero ginawa ko na inspiration yung friend ko na pinagdaanan din ang ganto at mas worst pa nangyari sakanya, but now sobrang happy na niya.

that's good to hear sis. kayang kaya mo yan, madami na nagdaan sa ganyan yung iba nga mas worst pa. saka make yourself unavailable, pag tatawag sya wag mo na muna sagutin. magpaka busy ka at magpaganda hehe and pray palagi.