This is one topic regarding relationships that I usually cannot give a comment on. Because...well, wala talaga akong idea..until recently.
I was the one who requested for the "cool off", just 3 days ago. Pagod na ko. Sobra na yung pagiisip, sobra na yung doubts. Dati kasi kung may problema as much as possible I try to talk to my partner about it. I open up about my issues with my partner or if we have any problems. Pero grabe siya, tina-try ko na nga makipagusap para ma-resolve namin yung issues namin tinatalikuran pa ko, tama ba yun? Chaka kayang kaya nya kong nakikitang nasasaktan at umiiyak. Pinaglaban ko sya ng ilang beses, di ko siya iniwan. Pero sobra, ang careless nya sakin. Sinabi ko na sa kanya na nasasaktan ako, ginagawa pa din. Mas kaya pang ipaglaban yung nakakasira ng relasyon namin kesa sakin na sinasabi niyang mahal niya.
I still love my partner, pero dahil sa mga nagawa nya or dahil sa nangyari samin, nagkaron na ko ng grudge sa kanya. May galit na ko. At the same time the trust isn't there anymore.
Some of you may ask, sa dami ng nega na nasabi ko about my partner, why not break it off lalo na may trust issues pa din pala.
Answer: I asked for the cool off because, one, I want the both of us to think things through. Do we still love and care for each other enough to try and make the relationship work and hopefully, in time get past this problem? If we do get back together, exactly how much can we compromise? Will there be really changes?
The second and my most important reason: I want to make sure that I really am ready to let go or give up na talaga. Because I'm not the type to break things off but I'll come running back when I realize I that no, hindi ko pa pala kaya. When I let go, that's it. There is absolutely no turning back.
In my case, it looks like the cool off is indeed a prelude to a break up. I'm still hoping a little that somehow, we can fix this. Pero ang nafi-feel ko at ang sinisigaw ng isip ko, enough na.