Get weekly updates via email!
tip of the day FRI 25 APR 14
Encourage team work by building good relationships with your co-workers. A team that works well together progresses together.
  • Good House Keeping
    Find your bliss this summer! GH's guide to a calmer, luckier, and happier you. On stands now for only P120.
    Good Housekeeping
  • Real Living
    Real Living’s April 2014 issue is a thing of beauty, literally! The magazine’s Beautiful Homes issue features 43 pages which will inspire you to rethink your own space.
    Real Living
  • Women's Health
    Everything you need to score your hottest, sexiest summer EVER is in the Women’s Health March issue!
    Women's Health
GIRLTALK

Author Topic: Lesson learned after the breakup  (Read 88468 times)

chea

  • Probationary
  • Posts: 2
Lesson learned after the breakup
« on: January 09, 2010, 01:29:26 AM »
Just want to share what I had read on my fb:

THE HARD LESSONS ON LOVE AND MEN

1. A man won't let go if he really loves you.

Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.


2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship.

There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have

done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.


3. Do not get hung up on your past.

Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or the relationship the same way. Do not compare.

He will not react the same way as your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him to look for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. It was not because you didn't guard him enough or you didn't make him happy enough.


4. Do not look into images.

How many times have you met a girl who didn't have the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images. Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your "supposedly" perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.


5. Always have your own set of rules.

Set your limits on how far you'd go for a guy. It's perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it's worth it. And it's worth it if the guy is treating you right.


6. Do not be scared to lose him.

Don't be scared that he'll break up with you. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage. Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.


7. Avoid calling your guy.

It's a guy thing. The relationship will definitely be better if it's the guy who's calling, not the girl. He will get tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest and challenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it's a girl thing also that your fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much as possible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are reasonable).


8. There is a guy who will value you.

There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don't lose hope. Don't settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can. Also, do not believe him when he says it's just the way he really is. He's not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.


9. Always be the only one, no matter what.

Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can't get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he can't leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.


10. He must respect you.

No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.


11. If he fooled you, end it.

Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.


12. Never start a relationship the wrong way.

Do not steal another girl's man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.


13. Do not force yourself into a relationship.

Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn't come yet.. Do not choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you are even thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.

14. Do not settle.

If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.


15. A relationship has to have love.

Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me, keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.


16. Don't be afraid to be single.

It's fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.


17. Be a good girl.

Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter the relationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years) . If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.


18. Love without limits.

Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. But if you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it. If you didn't give your all, you get hurt for nothing.


19. You will get over him.

Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.


20. Be the one.

Act like you are the one. Don't be a nagger. Don't hinder his gimmicks. Don't give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don't be easy. Don't be like every other girl he had in his life.


Share nyo din sa nyo guyz... I totally agree with this post. ;)

noemi86

  • I'm a Christ Follower, Lovely Daughter, Sweet Friend ♪ I LOVE BESTFRIEND JC! =D
  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 141
  • ♥ I thank God for everything! ♥
    • Multiply Account
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2010, 01:49:06 PM »
I learned about:

- respect
- real love
- commitment

Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

aquacharly

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 4423
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2010, 12:44:26 PM »
LESSONS learned -- based on my personal experiences, BUT MOSTLY from the experiences of others (sige aminin, me pagka tsismosa ako .. pero nag aantay akong cuentohan ha)

          LEAVE BEHIND IN THE PAST WHAT NO LONGER WORKS

          LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED.  You cannot force yourself to love someone you don't, nor can you force someone to love you even if you eat fire for him everyday.   
BUT love sure can be learned .. ask Krista... but that is another story, sorry OT.

          GIVE IT YOUR ALL, throw in everything even the neighbor's kitchen sink if required, TO REVIVE AN UNSATISFACTORY RELATIONSHIP -- BUT SET A REASONABLE DEADLINE.
If the Deadline has arrived, do not re-set it.  Best to focus your energies (and the neighbor's new kitchen sink)  on creating a new and happier life for yourself.
     Extended Runs of Misery sometimes cannot be avoided, BUT God sure did not put anyone here on earth for an Unending Run of Misery.

       TALK TO SOMEONE COMPETENT AND NON-JUDGMENTAL, who does not know you from Adam/Eve.   It will do  your mental and emotional health good.  You will be able to vent (minimum result), and/or gain a better perspective of where you're at, and/or define for yourself that 1st Small Step that will make it all Change for You (max result).

         JUST BECAUSE HE COMES HOME TO YOU every night or regularly MEANS THE RELATIONSHIP IS ALIVE.  Nope, he may just be coming home to hang his head, like a Boarder.
A spouse/partner who has already psychologically abandoned the relationship, though he may be physically present -- does not equal a good relationship.   

          GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.  Pray for a miracle, pray for Divine Guidance, pray for strength/hope/poise -- but at some time, you gotta do it for yourself.

          IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO RE-INVENT YOURSELF.  One can always go for a better life, a happier relationship.

          LIVING WELL/BETTER IS THE BEST REVENGE.

          WHAT HE CAN DO, YOU CAN DO BETTER -- BUT THAT IS YOUR CHOICE.  Hindi como ginawa ni Pedro eh kelangan gawin din at iganti ni Marya.  But there it is -- Marya can do it better, whatever it is.

         WHAT DID YOU PICK UP ON YOUR WAY BACK UP?
Whatever you call it: Pagkadapa, Pagka-semplang, The Biggest Booboo of My Life,  The Betrayal, The Lowest Point of My Existence, Katang@han Ko, etc etc etc... when you got to pick yourself up -- WHAT DID YOU LEARN/PICK UP?  Do not say "wala" -- for sure, there is something of value learned.

          At the end of it all:  LIVE AND LET DIE.   Bow.


       
         
   

haiku

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 40
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2010, 09:33:49 PM »
^DITTO!!! Natawa ako kasi it really is what I learned from the break up of my marriage at parang wala na akong madagdag! You should take that bow :)

Comment lang regarding sis chea's post "A man won't let go if he really loves you." From experience that's not necessarily the case, sometimes he won't let go because he doesn't want you to be happy, siya lang ang pwede maging happy. The wife takes care of the kids, the house, etc; he gets to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants anyway since the marriage vows don't mean anything to him; how convenient is that? Tapos maghihiwalay kayo and he is legally obligated to support you pa, iisipin niya masmabuti dito ka na lang as "my wife." That's also why he won't let you go!

baliya15

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 176
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2010, 10:10:58 PM »
lesson learned. pag niloko ka, manloko ka din..hehe.bitter pa kasi ako..
come back to the roller coaster ride..

chea

  • Probationary
  • Posts: 2
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2010, 12:08:34 AM »
Amen! Galing galing nyo mga sis. Keep it coming! I learned so much from you mga sis.

elay0207

  • Probationary
  • Posts: 6
    • Our Journey to Forever
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2010, 10:08:33 AM »
I learned that you can only find the right one when you let go of the wrong one. Haha.

Seriously, I learned about self-respect. If a guy doesn't treat you the way you feel you deserve to be treated, then he's not worth it.

Love yourself above all. Respect yourself.

Don't ignore yourself.
Suddenly, quietly, you realize that -- from this moment forth -- you will no longer pass through this world alone.

~~~~

www.bobandelay.com

luisacart

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 554
  • Never judge a book by it's genre.
    • My Adventures in Finding Mr. Right
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2010, 01:45:46 PM »
lessons i've learned

1. just because he is sincere doesn't mean that he will never lie. he may not be lying to me on purpose but if he gives me promises he cannot give then he has lied.

2. never give my heart away that easily again. i need to protect myself from heartbreak.
*WHEN YOU'RE FALLING, DIVE!~~

sweetestCORN

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 680
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2010, 11:05:43 PM »
very well said mga sis!! super ganda nun! applause!

bluestocking

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 194
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2010, 11:58:40 PM »
Just want to share what I had read on my fb:

THE HARD LESSONS ON LOVE AND MEN


I've read that here a few years back pa, author's name is Aileen Andaya if I'm not mistaken and she posted it here.  She's a girltalker :)

I agree with Aquacharly's setting a deadline and not prolonging the misery
gratitude attitude

ghilaine

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 18
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2010, 03:14:33 PM »
Lessons that i've learned after break-up???
1. you have to move on. ofcourse sure we have to move on. just think na... masaya na yung ex niyo and then you will realize na it's time na to move on... you will realize din na mukha ka ng t**** hanging on the past relationship na di na nagwork at nag the end na...

2. you have to love your self more than anything in this world. pag nagawa mo yun... certified naka-move on ka na...

3. you will then realize na buo naman pala ang mundo mo kahit wala siya??? may mga friends ka na minsan naisantabi mo because naging absorb ka masyado sa relationship niyo...meet your friends and catch up...they will help you all through out...

4. lastly na ba??? wala na kasi akong maisip ehh... ahm?? it's the best talaga....

" dont think that break up is a punishment given you by God...because you've been bad or whatever?? Instead... think that break up is a blessing from God because he saved you from the wrong one..."

God bless!!!

Black_Bear

  • GUYTalker
  • GirlTalker
  • *
  • Posts: 199
  • digital artist
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2010, 09:46:57 PM »
things that i've learned about girls after they broke up w/ me:

-girls love to make lambing to their BFs and hubbys... kailangan lambingin mo sila in return

-girls always ask for a spare time and you have to give it to them eventhough just a little of your time

-girls go ga** when they receive your text message saying that you love her kaya dapat i text mo lagi ang 3 magical words

-haranahin mo maski hindi na uso ang harana... they will feel special

-love and respect them ALWAYS... in return bibigyan ka nila ng hugs and kisses

-wag kang tatanggi sa babae kapag gusto ka nyang reypin... kapag tumanggi ka she will never ever talk to you...

mimiku

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 191
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2010, 06:25:13 PM »
Lesson learned:

Karma works vice versa.  :)

Seriously I've learned that everything is cause and effect and that people should be very careful when in comes to inflicting pain to their loved ones. Because sooner or later, in one way or another, you'll be settling the same tab.. this time it comes back to you 3x.

I've learned also that loving too much is not good. You leave something for yourself as well.



Sometimes Im terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts. Edgar Allan Poe

euwie

  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 934
  • baby, hold on!!!! :)
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2010, 04:49:06 PM »
^^ako rin super naniniwala sa karma. hindi man agad agad, in time, dadating din yun sa kanya.

i learned that it is not right to give all out trust to your partner. feeling ko wala talagang lalaking faithful. hay.  :'(

i learned that hindi ako martyr. whew!

mas ok maging paranoid kesa maging kampante.
EDD: nov 12, 2013
Can't wait!!!!

Sometimes, i don't even know why am i answering the obvious. Google, backread when in doubt! When all else fail, then by all means ASK!

orangerainbow

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 150
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #14 on: April 28, 2010, 12:55:49 AM »
huwag baliwalain ang mga unang simptomas na parang may mali sa relationship. madalas, tama ang instincts natin. at tama si sis euwie, paranoid over kampante. dahil kung walang fire, walang usok. :D

lesters_gal

  • Super GirlTalker
  • *****
  • Posts: 2053
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #15 on: April 28, 2010, 03:26:45 AM »
Your right sis orangerainbow,totoo talaga yang kutob2x na yan.
~dOnT hAtE mE bEcAusE im bEaUtifuL~

mimiku

  • GirlTalker
  • **
  • Posts: 191
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #16 on: April 28, 2010, 09:29:32 AM »
kung alam ng babaero, wag nang patulan...

Yup this is my number 1 rule right now.
Sometimes Im terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts. Edgar Allan Poe

stebsy

  • BURLESQUE
  • Junior GirlTalker
  • ***
  • Posts: 225
  • immortal
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #17 on: May 09, 2010, 10:16:40 PM »
+ life goes on and can still be totally perfect. you just have to accept things as they are and let go of the fear. everyday isn't a rainy day... the sun shines, the star sparkles and the moon sheds it's light. appreciate the things around you and try to focus on the bright side. a breakup isn't as bad as it is. very overrated.

i had several breakups already and i thought "hey, i've been here before and it went well at the end of the day." i smiled while it's still hurtin' and i continue to smile now that isn't hurtin' anymore. now i'm care free. perfect.
i want a perfect ending.

Joycy

  • Living life with integrity and order...
  • Senior GirlTalker
  • ****
  • Posts: 702
  • is in love with Kakashi Hatake
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #18 on: May 11, 2010, 12:19:25 AM »
Keep 'en coming guys.  ;D

Based on my experience naman:

You have to love yourself first...ergo dapat may self-respect. Know your negotiables and non-negotiables. Kung alam mo kung hanggang saan ka lang, you wont bend over backward for the guy na alam mo labag sa kalooban mo. If you know your worth, at the start, aaray ka na if he did something wrong in stead of keeping quiet and resenting him for stepping on your boundaries.

You both need space from each other. No matter how much you love to be together all the time, its healthier for the relationship to have a breath of fresh air. It will give you a chance to recharge and think without bias.

Improve yourself...and your mind. Dont stagnate. You never know what will happen in the future so better prepare. Besides, your partner will be more attracted to you if you dont let yourself go.

Love him but do NOT make him your world. Ilang beses na akong nadapa dito but this lesson i never learned.  ;) You must have something separate from him to call your own.

Have separate friends and common friends, as well as separate and common interests. Wag i-merge lahat. Nothing is more awkward for common friends during break-ups so dapat you have your own.

Prioritize. Love him, be honest if you must, but know his place in your life. Isipin mo na kahit husband mo na siya, he is not a blood relative. He can leave you anytime. So dapat, you have a secret account.  ;D Your family is the only people in your life that you can 100% trust and i've proven that many times in my experience.

Do not nag, do not stalk or invade his privacy. If a guy lies to you, you will know. Malalaman mo rin yan. Ganun din if he cheats. I just dont see the point of invading his privacy to prove a point kasi kahit ano pang gawin mo, kahit pigilan mo, he will do it if gusto niya. Spend your energy elsewhere.

Self-respect lang. Do not stay with a man if he beats you. It will tell him na you have a low self-esteem that you would take that kind of treatment from anyone. Do not engage in a relationship with a man in any kind of relationship. Babae ka rin. We're supposed to help each other, not go against each other.

Acceptance. Dapat walang regrets or bitterness. Sayang  yong energy when you could have spend it on improving yourself. You did what you could and it didnt work out. Whether its your fault or not, the fact that it didnt work means that you are not for each other. Cry but move forward and learn from it. The heart is the most amazing organ in the body. It can take so many pain but it will heal. So can you.

When you give your word, do it.  :)

Isip muna ako. hehe
God tied u and I together by our little fingers with a long red string. This bond of destiny cannot be seen and there is no map leading to u. So i will fall in love with u when i meet u.

follow me @ www.twitter.com/Venus914

xxpetitexx

  • Virtual Assistant and A Clever
  • Junior GirlTalker
  • ***
  • Posts: 207
  • clever and straightforward
    • The Chapters
Re: Lesson learned after the breakup
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2010, 07:19:42 PM »
di na gawin ang mga ginagawa noon.
"The clearer vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it"

 

ADVERTISEMENT
follow us
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Featured Articles
28
What Would You Do Kung Ikaw ang the Legal Wife?
Would you stay or would you leave?
28
28
10 Celebrity Holy Week Destinations
How did these stars spend their long vacays?