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GIRLTALK

Author Topic: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?  (Read 6424 times)

luisacart

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does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« on: December 18, 2009, 07:05:13 AM »
What have you guys learned from breaking up with your exes? And were you able to put those lessons into effect into your next relationship? For example, I told myself after breaking up with my 1st bf that I will never let another person's personality overshadow my own ever again. But it happened again with someone else. Well, in fairness may 4 years na gap naman between the guys. And that's why I was so upset about the break up with No 2 because I thought I knew better. But oh well, I guess 3x a charm? hehe
« Last Edit: December 18, 2009, 07:07:45 AM by luisacart »
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blushydamsel

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2009, 08:27:52 AM »
i learned to keep some love for myself and not to give everything to the person... pero on my next relationship, ganun pa rin, kaya i keep on hurting myself most of the time.. :-[

i_am_sweet

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2009, 09:00:17 AM »
We are bound to learn from our experiences.  Some people learn fast, while some take more time to pick up.  Pag may learning disability ka that's when troubles arise.

Relating this to break-ups, ideally, we do not repeat the same mistakes we did before.  It would be better if we could reflect once in a while on things that worked and that which didn't.  More importantly, we focus on the how and why.  If we don't do these then we're just bound to be hurt again and again, or it could be the other way around - you end up hurting others repeatedly.

muahmuahmuah

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2009, 01:15:09 PM »
the how will follow of you have a clearer vision of your why.   

no two snowflakes are alike.  making the same mistake with a different guy doesnt make them the problem. we know who the common denominator is.

let go lang of the katangahan it happens. no matter who you get involved with the same s*** will happen if you view things the same way...balik ka dun sa retraining your  subconscious you need to let go and unload all the wrong programming n misconceptions.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The Lovers, the Dreamers, and Me.

I am a catch, and I am not going to be the one to get away.

You should never settle for who you are.

><((((>`..`..`...><((((>
`.. , . .`.. ><((((>

aquacharly

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2009, 08:22:43 PM »
For sure we learned something.
At the very least, one gets to know one's self better.

Howver, as for putting to good use what we learned, that is another/different issue.

babyjapnurse01

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2009, 08:29:03 PM »
smarter coz you learned something from the relationship and that we become wiser in making decisions...


Howver, as for putting to good use what we learned, that is another/different issue.

agree. nagkaka-talo nalang kung magagamit ng maayos ang natutunan.. :P
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Beng01

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2009, 11:02:14 AM »
Yes, I am stronger now and smarter when it comes to dealing with guys. And I learned to love myself more while I am single again.
Life for me now is Eat, Pray, LOVE!

Thanks be to God for this Gift of Life. Finally soon to be mom this year!!! ♥♥♥

10tequilashots

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2009, 02:44:45 PM »
And that's why I was so upset about the break up with No 2 because I thought I knew better. But oh well, I guess 3x a charm? hehe


Could be, hehe. :D But sometimes kasi it can be a work in progress, sis. Sometimes the lessons need time to sink in kasi may iba pang life experiences you need to go through for it to truly take effect. Out of all I've learned from love, one thing I always stick by is that you have to be both firm and kind to yourself. Ang importante is you see progress, kahit mabagal pa yan. :)

mooncake and leaves

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2009, 11:24:40 AM »
if being selfish and being smart are the same thing, then i guess, yeah. although i am in no way, in a relationship-y place right now, when i envision what i'm gonna do and how i'm gonna approach a relationship, if i have any, the next time around, i think i'll probably do things differently. i'll probably be more guarded. i don't know if i'll be able to apply the lessons i learned because i agree- knowing things and putting them to good use are two very different things. and every person offers a different challenge and something you've never encountered before.

:)

carmilina

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #9 on: December 24, 2009, 04:24:10 PM »
nah...im not smart!!!

i've become a GENIUS!!!!!

as in...

wag papadala sa mga guys...asus..hndi sila dadami kung wala tyo...hndi sila mag rereproduce!!!!

GIRL power!!!
---Woman empowerment, that's what my life is...---
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charlottemarie

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2009, 01:05:05 PM »
Increases experience but smarter, depends on your learning curve hehe

WhizDy

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2009, 03:50:04 AM »
Experience is always the best teacher, but then, if you keep on doing the same mistakes, then that's a totally different story. ;)

Eureka1088

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2010, 03:37:36 PM »
we learn yes. but smarter it depends on the person if he or she is strong enough to resist the temptation of doing the same mistake or risk it again.

boracay2862

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2010, 01:29:16 PM »
Yes in a way! Cause we know how to handle another feelings of breaking up. Di na gaano kasakit, and di ka na mag eexpect to much sa susunod. 

twelvth_goddess

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2010, 02:10:27 PM »
I had a bf for 3 months whom I really loved. When we broke up, I swore to myself that i would never make any man feel that he is the center of my world. Yung next na naging bf ko happened to be a Puerto Rican and during the entire course of our relationship, I never made the first move in texting or calling him unless sya yung mauna. My relationship motto then was if we were together, kame; pag hinde kame magkasama, bahala na kame. Nasobrahan naman ako sa pagho-hold back until eventually, I left the relationship.

Finally, I told myself that my next relationship will be the last and I will make sure that the guy would feel how much I love him in every way. Sya na si hubby ko ngayon :)
Whatever I want, I get. If I can't, I don't stop TRYING.

commish

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2010, 02:42:04 PM »
i agree with mooncake and leaves, that in breaking up, theres a point that selfishness and sensibility intertwines. the fact that you knew there's something wrong and which you perceive is irreconcilable means you're exercising your brain and freedom. the situation that you had moved on means you came up with a solution. simple lang di ba? har har

moving forward in a different relationship is a different aspect. its really difficult to exercise such learned experience especially when your conflicting to a fact that you chose to be vulnerable again. elementary, if chances have probability and statistics, love has experiences and aspirations.
What I want is just like what women wants.
something between a box of chocolate and a good conversation.

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but of power, love and sound mind. - II Timothy 1:7

nickie

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2010, 02:46:50 PM »
You've made me stronger by Regine V.

Is it hard to believe I'm okay
After all, it's been a while since you walked away
I'm way past crying over you finding someone new
You turned my days into night
But now I see the light
And this may be a big surprise to you
REFRAIN:
(But/'Cause) you've made me
stronger by breaking my heart
You ended my life and made a better one start
You've taught me everything from fallin' in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you've made me stronger,
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/GCyz ]
baby, by saying goodbye
If you'd rather believe I'm not over you
Go ahead-there's nothing wrong with making believe
I know 'cause I used to pretend
you'd come back to me
But time has been such a friend
Brought me to my senses again
And I have you to thank for setting me free
(Repeat Refrain)
Think again
Don't feel so sorry for me, my friend
Oh, don't you know
I'm not the one at the losing end.
(Repeat Refrain twice moving into
higher notes 'till fade)
You made stronger by saying
Goodbye...


Sorry mga sister at kinanta ko na lang.  ;)

lovefool

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2010, 02:59:49 PM »
It should make you smarter. But for some of us, when we fall in love, sadly enough we give our all and not leave anything for ourselves. Does that mean that whenever we enter a relationship we should always be on our guard? Ang hirap kasi to entrust our feelings to another person and expect that person to take care of us. If they don't, ultimately we're on the losing end of the stick. Ang hirap talaga magmahal...

mimilovespurple

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #18 on: January 24, 2010, 10:22:15 AM »
Break-ups do not necessarily make everyone smarter. Sometimes, what happens is we know what went wrong tapos pag na-inlove, ayun, uulit nanaman. Some people just never learn kasi nga ang love ay nakakabulag kung minsan.

cherub.rock

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Re: does breaking up w/ someone make you smarter?
« Reply #19 on: January 25, 2010, 06:59:44 AM »
^exactly! :D

 

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