Author Topic: live-in or not? (Read 14281 times)

annie_barzaga · « **on:** May 23, 2009, 10:23:58 am »

to mods: kung my topic na pong ganito paki delete na lang po.

Cheesecak3 · « **Reply #1 on:** May 23, 2009, 05:34:24 pm »

live in muna kami ng 3 years bago nagpakasal. medyo mahirap kasi nakakatakot baka hindi maging successful ang relationship kasi nag invest ka ng time and emotion.

nong una mahirap kasi nag aadjust pa kami pero nong nagpakasal na kami konti na lang ang adjustment kasi sanay na kami sa isat isa.

kookie420 · « **Reply #2 on:** May 23, 2009, 11:03:34 pm »

this is never an option for me. if i am committed to the person, i will marry him and love him for who he is.

marriage is never perfect, it takes two to tango. i feel that the trial period would just give one an excuse not to continue with the relationship if it's not going anywhere, just because you're not tied to anything.

mademoiselle · « **Reply #3 on:** May 23, 2009, 11:10:57 pm »

I have nothing against people who practice it but i for one never opted for this set up when i was still single. I have to admit that my fiancee would sleep over my place once in a while a month or two before our wedding but that's it. I may be liberated in some ways but I do value the sanctity of marriage and i still believe marriage is the only way to go if you love your partner and you want to live together.
My sister and brother on the other hand nakipaglive in with their partner good enough for them cause they were able to easily walk away from it unlike syempre pag kasal.

mira.dreyes · « **Reply #4 on:** May 24, 2009, 04:22:04 am »

Pa-join po...

Quote from: annie_barzaga on May 23, 2009, 10:23:58 am

i've been living with my bf for almost 5 months now, so far so good, some adjustments to do, pero i have these worries and fears, what if it does not work?

share naman po mga sis's what are your experiences living together with someone your not married with. living in with bf advantages and dis advantages

to mods: kung my topic na pong ganito paki delete na lang po.

for me sis eh ok lang eh. mas maganda nga yung mag live-in muna kasyo before getting married, para mas makilala niyo ang isat isa. i know its not ideal pero living in a real world it'll work out.

what are you scared of? if it wont work? well its part of it, kung live-in man kayo or hindi. kung hindi talaga kasyo, hindi talaga...

cgirl · « **Reply #5 on:** May 24, 2009, 05:20:05 am »

I remember my professor saying the same thing. Sa dami ng broken families sa Pilipinas, and sa dami ng mga naghihiwalay dahil sa "individual differences" pwede rin siguro iconsider ang live-in.

stylista · « **Reply #6 on:** May 24, 2009, 12:00:15 pm »

I lived with my ex bf before. Masaya nga eh. Lagi kayong magkasama. The bad part was when we broke up, I had to moved out because that was his place. So I told to myself I will never move in with my next partner unless he will move in with me. Para sya papalayasin ko if things don't work out. hehe

Cheesecak3 · « **Reply #7 on:** May 24, 2009, 06:06:40 pm »

^LOL ganon din ako dati. Ako ang nagpapalayas.

Mabuti na lang mahaba ang pasensya ni hubby.

jing123 · « **Reply #8 on:** May 25, 2009, 01:27:22 am »

bf and i planned to live together months prior to our intended wedding date on 2011...

this is to have an adequate wedding preparations... we need to have synchronized schedules all the time...

hence, living in together is ok with me.

mooncake and leaves · « **Reply #9 on:** May 25, 2009, 02:14:23 am »

i'm ok with it. i don't see it kasi as a trial stage in a relationship. for me kasi, ang goal ko is to live with the man i love. if we get to the point that we feel so insecure that we need to have that union validated by society, we'll consider marriage. i honestly don't see that much difference between the two except for the added security of marriage, which is also weird because kahit itaga niyo pa sa bato na kayo forever, kung magkakaiwanan, magiiwanan talaga nyaha.

pero kanya kanya yan. sa akin lang, kung matatali ako, gusto kong matali dahil lang gusto ko at hindi dahil sa legalities involved.

mira.dreyes · « **Reply #10 on:** May 25, 2009, 02:54:29 am »

correct sis [textspeak!]! theres's nothing wrong naman talaga kung titingnan mo sa realistkong pananaw, pero siyempre marami rin factor lang like having a conservative na parents na kaylangan ayusin muna para magwork yung live-in sotuation.

mira.dreyes · « **Reply #11 on:** May 25, 2009, 02:56:37 am »

@stylista~ see...you'll also learn some lessons, hehe

cgirl · « **Reply #12 on:** May 25, 2009, 03:13:19 am »

Our society kasi is judgemental. Pag "live-in" parang immoral na sa iba..

mooncake and leaves · « **Reply #13 on:** May 25, 2009, 05:50:40 am »

^ well, you can never escape judgment. the idea is to go for what works for you and what you really want. if a person wants to get married before living with someone, by all means, do that. nakakainis ang judgment lalo na kasi, mas madaling ipreno ang bibig kesa takpan ang tenga. but what other people say should never be a factor in someone's decisions. the disapproval of society or other people should not stop you from doing what you want to do, if it's something that doesn't really hurt anyone, in the same way that their approval should not be a go signal to do something that doesn't really feel right.

in short, magkaroon ng sariling decision. know what you want, be matured enough to stand by that decision even if it's not all roses all the time and be brave enough to change it if there is absolutely no way in hell you'll still be able to stand it. ganyan lang ang life. joke joke joke lang lagi. harhar.

annie_barzaga · « **Reply #14 on:** May 25, 2009, 03:08:38 pm »

thanks mga sis's sa mga POV, kahit papanu nkaka-enlighten...

Cheesecak3 · « **Reply #15 on:** May 25, 2009, 03:13:33 pm »

nong unang naglive in kami ang dami din naming narinig na hindi magandang comments lalo na sa mga kamag anak. masakit yon pero tinanggap namin lahat at mabuti na lang pinaglaban ako.

kahit parents ayaw ng ganong set up pero nasa sayo pa rin kung papano mo ipapaliwanag. Kung tingin mo hindi takot sa commitment ang partner mo then go ahead kasi alam mo na dadating ang time na sa kasal din ang punta nyo. pero kung ang partner mo ay tipong walang pakialam sa kasal at pamilya wag mo na lang ituloy.

annie_barzaga · « **Reply #16 on:** May 25, 2009, 03:23:11 pm »

^haaay life

bluegintonic · « **Reply #17 on:** May 26, 2009, 05:14:58 am »

mahirap gawin...lalo na at surrounded ka by family members! but for me,ayos lang,at least makikilala mo nang mabuti bago kayo mag-commit.

ang masama lang,pag antagal tagal na tapos parang walang balak yung guy to ask your hand in marriage di ba...ready na ka na tapos yung guy hindi pa..paano mo ipapaliwanag yun?tsaka sa live in dapat mag-ingat lalo na wala pa sa ayos ang set-up...pag nabuntis kasi it complicates things even more eh.

mira.dreyes · « **Reply #18 on:** May 26, 2009, 05:53:47 am »

Quote from: cgirl on May 25, 2009, 03:13:19 am

Our society kasi is judgemental. Pag "live-in" parang immoral na sa iba..

correct sis! parang kala mo eh la kadumihang ginawa sa buong buhay nila...at nagiging judgemental sila.

ang sakin lang sis, if you wont take the risk, you'll never know what will happen, you'll live with "what ifs..." just make sure that you're also ready to face the consequences....

kikoshei · « **Reply #19 on:** May 26, 2009, 01:20:45 pm »

Sa pinas lang mahirap gawin yan. Sakin ok lang yan. You'll never know someone until you live with that person under one roof.

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Author Topic: live-in or not? (Read 14281 times)