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GIRLTALK

Author Topic: single moms. share your stories  (Read 44016 times)

viellemacey

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #260 on: April 09, 2013, 09:20:47 pm »
single mom here :)

the very 1st moment n nalaman ko na preggy ako ininform ko agad si bf.at 1st ok sya, sinasamahan nya ko sa ob and when we found out that i'm at the high risk pregnancy, i decided, and he agreed, na umuwe ako sa province namin while he's finding a way to inform his parents tsaka pinsan ko lang kasama ko sa apartment kaya mahirap talaga for me. and when i'm already here na nagpalokoloko na, tapos saka sinabi sakin na di pa sya ready maging family guy. imagine ako pa mismo nagsabi sa mom nya over the phone na preggy ako. akala ko magiging ok lahat but when dad asked them to come over just to talk at para kahit papano may makita naman yung mga kapitbahay namin kung sino ang daddy naku dami na nila dahilan, kesyo walang magaasikaso ng business, blah blah. i tried to understand them, muka naman kasing kapanipaniwala dahilan nila until sabihin sakin ng mommy nya na "bata ka pa naman makakahanap ka pa ng iba. hindi lang naman ikaw ang nagkaganyan" she even said "sana sinabi nyo agad sakin ni _____ nung maliit pa yan para nagawan ng paraan, may tita syang head nurse sa pampanga" ( parang gusto nya ipaabort? ). OMG napatahimik talaga ako, di ko inexpect yung ganung words sa isang ina. that made me decide to let myself be a single mom. sabi pa nila kung gusto ko raw talaga tatanggapin naman nila ako punta na lang raw ako manila at susunduin nila ako punta sa bahay nila. tama ba naman yun e alam nilang buntis ako tapos ako pa talaga uutusan nila. nung sinabi ko na ayoko, ayun di na sila nagparamdam.

nung nanganak ako ininform ko dad ng baby ko kasi pre-term baby sya, grabe hanggang text lang nagawa nya. di man lang tumawag kahit na alam nyang nakaincubate yung baby namin. tapos nung nalaman nya na almost ok na si baby namissing in action na naman.

ang pinakanakakaloka todo post pa sya ngayon sa fb ng pictures nila ng gf nya, which i found out pangalawang gf na nya simula nung nabuntis ako. hayyyy ang kati nya wagas ang pagkahipon :)) di ko sya inaunfriend, gusto kong makita nya yung greatest blessing na tinanggihan nya :)


at first it was really very difficult, and yung mga tanong at mga chismis ng mga chismosang walang kwenta make it harder pa. pero aminin natin mga mommy mas namomotivate (sa lahat ng bagay) tayo because of our babies :)

BTW 3 months na ang baby z ko and i'm happy, my family's happy. super spoiled sya ng dad ko :)
growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional :)

jaemi33

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #261 on: April 11, 2013, 03:02:51 pm »
Hi to all the single moms here. I'm not a single mom but MY MOM is, so I just want to cheer everyone and share my mom's inspring story in here.

My mom divorced with my dad when I was 14. She has four children including me with my dad. Houswife lang siya nung una kaya wala talaga siya money to support us so she decided to work abroad and left us to our lola and tita. It was very hard to see how my family fall apart and to be seperated with my mom kasi mama's girl ako, pero naging okay naman kasi pinuno naman kami mag kakapatid ng pagmamahal ng relatives namin. Nung married pa sila ng dad ko, my siblings and I were going to private school na may pangalan talaga but then nung nag divorce sila kala namin lilipat kami ng school pero she forced us to keep going on the same school. She never missed our needs kahit na nasa abroad siya, tapos there comes a time na lahat kami pumunta na sa abroad to live with her, doon ko lang nawitness kung gaano ka laki yung sacrifice na binigay ng mom ko para sa amin.

She was living in a small apartment since she was trying to save money for us. Her life routine was to work and sleep talaga. She burried herself to work para hindi niya kami mamiss. Just thinking that my mom spent couple of christmas and her birthdays alone in that small apartment breaks my heart. Kahit na hirap na hirap siya never niyang pinapakita sa amin na umiiyak siya (except ngayon na mejo malalaki na kami mas comfortable na siya ipakita sa amin ang weak side niya since she can depend on us now) She let me go to an expensive university here and even let me go to study abroad. For her, kami talaga ang no. priority niya in life and to give us best of everything.

I really repsect, admire and love my mom. I always feel her love for us and kahit ngayon wala pa kami naibabalik sa kanya, we definitely appreciate whe she has done for us. So lahat ng single mom there, I just like to say na all of you are beautiful and strong independent women and I respect all of you with that. In time, maririnig niyo rin yan sa mga anak niyo and I just hope to hear that everything was worth it :)

By the way, my mom is in a relationship now with different man and she really looks happy now :) When the right time comes, all your sacrifices will come back to you as big fat blessings.


momentum

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #262 on: April 12, 2013, 09:21:54 am »
^ Thank you very much sis jaemi33 for sharing your story. It is very inspiring. We single moms always strive to give the best to our kids and mold them to be the greatest they can be so they can be happy, even if it means being selfless most of the time and doing all this on our own.
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pinkswirls12

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #263 on: April 17, 2013, 10:33:39 pm »
joining mga sis. i am not yet a mom but i am 33weeks pregnant now. i am single since nov last year and i have no communication with SD since december. i am decided to have my baby's surname same as mine but sometimes this makes me teary eyed. thinking that my daughter will not have a middle name and for sure she'll ask about it in the future. but i am very thankful to God everyday for the people surrounding me especially my family and friends who did not judge me and my situation and for a safe and healthy pregnancy. right now, i am very excited to see, hold and cuddle my baby girl..:)
Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.

viellemacey

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #264 on: April 18, 2013, 12:59:12 am »
^middle name issue is also my worry. it breaks my heart everytime i think of how to explain to her when she start asking "why" without her getting hurt because i know there's no way i could take the pain away, truth really hurts, sucks! this world is so cruel, people are very judgmental and insensitive. no matter how hard we ( single moms ) try to pretend that life is still beautiful even without their dad, others will always have their own way of breaking that barrier and exposing our child to pain :(
growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional :)

pinkswirls12

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #265 on: April 18, 2013, 09:38:06 am »
^my worry sis is when she will go to school. no middle name, father's name is unknown or n/a. haaaay life! i just pray that our children will understand why these things happened. that they may not see us as a selfish mother but a protective one..
Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.

slickchick

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #266 on: April 18, 2013, 10:28:45 am »
^ hi sis pinkswirls and viellemacey. that was also one of my worries when i was still pregnant. but as my son was growing (he's now 6 years old turning 7 this april), and with the support of family and genuine friends, the problem with the middle name became the least of my worries. children nowadays are smart. as long as you are honest, open, and patient in explaining to them (in an objective manner) what happened, they will and they can understand.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2013, 10:30:26 am by slickchick »
Sky above me... Earth below me... Fire within me...

viellemacey

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #267 on: April 18, 2013, 10:39:59 am »
^^same here. girl din baby mo? last week i opened a savings account for my dau and this super pakialamerang teller told me i should ask my baby's dad to atleast sign an  affidavit of paternity para may middle name baby ko. nakakainis kita nya na nga na NA nakalagay dun sa father's name eh.

^thank you sis. actually ngayon pa lang iniisip ko na paano ihahandle ang sitwasyon kapag nagtanong na si baby. ayoko lumaki sya na laging may ? sa sarili.
growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional :)

pinkswirls12

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #268 on: April 18, 2013, 04:07:09 pm »
^^thank you sis. naiisip ko lang mga batang bully. sabihan ang anak ko, weird ka walang middle name! hindi ko pa naman alam magiging personality ng anak ko so siguro dapat nga wag ko na muna alalahanin yun.

^yes sis, ill be having a baby girl. alam mo sis minsan naiisip ko sana bago magkamuwang baby ko, makilala ko na ang tamang lalaki for me at iadopt nya si baby. bago man lang magschool ayos na ang lahat kaso parang ang desperada tignan di ba. nakakairita yang teller na yan ah!! sana naman iorient sila sa work na hindi typographical error ang walang middle name. yun na talaga yun. nakakaoffend sila..

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.

viellemacey

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #269 on: April 18, 2013, 05:23:20 pm »
^grabe nga eh. parang walang common sense. kita ng wala tapos hahanapin pa! ggrrr!

sis if i were you wag mo isipin yung magkaron ng partner bago magkaisip ang baby mo kasi ang kalalabasan nyan hindi ka makakapagfocus sa kanya kasi half of you is looking for someone though its for your child's sake rin naman. just love her with all your being ( that's what im trying to do now ) and before you know it you're more than enough to her. ako honestly takot na kong magtiwala sa mga guys, i know that's unfair to those na matino naman kaya lang may masaklap na kong experience sa mga lalaki. hehe

let's hope and pray na matanggap ng mga babies natin ang ugly truth about their father but still let's prepare ourselves kung dumating yung time na gusto nilang makita dad nila. basta let's stay pretty for our babies :)
growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional :)

slickchick

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #270 on: April 19, 2013, 12:05:22 pm »
sis pinkswirls, pagpasensyahan mo na sis. may mga tao sadyang insensitive and hindi aware. actually, sa ganyang situations, i just choose to ignore the remark (deadma lang) with matching sharp looks on the person (i.e. makuha ka sa tingin effect). i agree with sis viellemacey's comment - try not too look for a new partner right now. try to focus more on yourself and kay baby, kasi she needs you more at this stage.  :)
Sky above me... Earth below me... Fire within me...

pinkswirls12

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #271 on: April 19, 2013, 12:35:21 pm »
^nako sis preggy pa kaya wala pa balak lumandi. hehe. kidding aside, hindi naman ako nagmamadali at may trauma na yata ako sa lalake. pinagppray ko talaga na hindi na maulit etong nangyari sa akin, yung maayos na lalaki na talaga, pangforever na. yung ex ko kasi super bait at love ako pero nung nalaman ng buntis ako, naglaho lahat ng feelings for me. kaya narealize ko, fake love siguro yun baka lust lang. paulit ulit na tanong ng father ko noon, hindi ka ba nakaramdam na hindi ka mahal at niloloko ka lang?? hindi eh. bait baitan talaga. kaya ayoko na sa tahimik na lalake. nasa loob pala talaga ang kulo..
Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.

viellemacey

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #272 on: April 19, 2013, 01:03:46 pm »
^sis buti dad mo nakapagtanong pa ng ganun. dad ko naspeechless the entire time na nakabakasyon sya dito, mga 18days yun, tapos bumalik na sya russia. after 3 months bakasyon sya ulit tapos ayun iniimikan nya na ko but he never asked anything na tungkol sa dad ni baby. he hired a killer pa nga pero nagmakaawa ako na wag kasi that time umaasa pa ang beauty ko na magkakaayos kami. haha. pero ayun wala din, sana pala di ko na pinigilan si dad. lol
growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional :)

pinkswirls12

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #273 on: April 19, 2013, 02:32:14 pm »
^actually sis, 1mo kaming hindi nag usap ng father ko kasi hindi niya matanggap na ang anak niya naisahan. bobo raw ako, t****, etc. paulit ulit yan ah for 7mos. sa sobrang hurt ko dahil nga 7mos pregnant na ako at bitter pa rin siya, hindi ko na siya kinibo. nagkausap na lang ulit kami dahil graduation ng sister ko. after that, awa ni Lord never na niya nilibak ang pagkatao ko at tumigil ng mura murahin ang tatay ng baby ko. gusto niya rin ipapatay si SD. sinugod nila si guy sa work ng hindi ko alam at doon pinagbantaan. banta na lang, hindi naman talaga itutuloy. sayang daw ang pera sa walang kwentang tao. kargo de konsensya pa. siguro kung 100% ang sakit sa atin, 1000% sa parents natin. ang papa ko raw iyak ng iyak sa kwarto bago matulog sabi ng mama ko. talaga namang nasubok ang pamilya namin. pero ngayon masaya na sila at ilang linggo na lang magkakafirst apo na sila..
Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.

viellemacey

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #274 on: April 19, 2013, 02:53:26 pm »
^tama! dad ko nga dati lage tulala. buti ayos na kayo ng family mo. sana ang parusa sa mga katulad nila ay hindi na magkaanak pa :)
growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional :)

pinkswirls12

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #275 on: April 19, 2013, 03:01:19 pm »
^may karma talagang babalik sis..
Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.

slickchick

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #276 on: April 19, 2013, 03:20:32 pm »
sis viellemacey and sis pinkswirls, i guess lahat naman ng fathers (or parents for that matter) hindi matutuwa kapag nalaman na nabuntis ang anak nila. in guy lingo, "nakakalalake" yun (as my dad and my brother would say before) - hindi lang tayo ang gin@go, pati rin sila. yung dad ko before "silent treatment" sa akin - which was worse. mas gusto ko na na sigawan ako or awayin ng harapan, kesa yung bigyan ng cold treatment, na parang hindi ako nagi-exist. however, tables turned nung pinanganak ko na yung son ko. sya naman yung sobrang tuwang tuwa kasi mini-me version nya yung bata. siguro give your parents some time. i'm sure naman hindi rin sila makakatiis lalo na kapag nakita na nila yung apo nila (especially if first apo yun).  :)
Sky above me... Earth below me... Fire within me...

viellemacey

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Re: single moms. share your stories
« Reply #277 on: April 19, 2013, 03:24:25 pm »
^^yup! we all should be proud of ourselves because despite the fact that our baby's dad had gone somewhere, we still chose to keep our baby. now i can say i have found my best half, my baby girl :)

^sakin rin dati silent treatment si dad pero now ok na. spoiled nya baby ko kasi 1st apo na girl :)
growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional :)

 

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