filipino-chinese relationships

[imyoursweetheart]

okay, here's the catch. my bf is chinese, and obviously, im not. hehe! but it doesnt stop there. both of us are not legal because our parents dont want us to be together. but we're still together. (oh no. big dilemma.) i want to hear successful stories from our sisses who are in the same situation. wherein the guy is chinese and the girl is filipino or vice versa. i want to inspire myself. and be more in love.

so, please share.

as for me, i think we're not yet successful (in our love story) yet because we're not yet married and both our parents are still against us. but, we're lucky to have each other because we learn and enjoy each other's company.

please share your stories. whether its successful or not.

thank you

[Razzy]

mine is succesful...later on his parents accepted me but not the whole fam though...we lasted for 6years eventually ang naging problem namen is the relationship it self teehee

[m_lim]

i'm chinese and my bf is not. at first, feel ko na ayaw ng dad ko. pero eventually nagustuhan din naman. i think mas madali yung sa amin than pag yung guy ang chinese then ang girlfriend ang filipino. kasi usually ha, tingin ng family ng guy, pera lang habol ng girls since ang guy sa chinese family, kadalasan nagmamana ng family business.

no offense to chinese guys, pero yung mga kilala ko kasi, parang mashado silang dikit sa family nila, spoiled ba. i hate that. oo, masaya kasi labas ng labas. maluwag sa pera. punta ng tagaytay just to have lunch/ dinner, buy new shoes/ shirts (para sa sarili nila ha, hindi para saken), buy new accessories for the car. hindi naisip ang gas papuntang tagaytay how much? kung pwede naman mag date within the metro. yung mga ganyan ba.

[uniqlo_girl]

^ mine is not successful
    My ex Bf chose to give our relationship up after 4 years (on and off) of hiding it from his parents. Well he was not man enough to fight for it. Well I guess it was for the BEST naman. I would be miserable if ever we ended up with each other since I will never be accepted by his family. Life goes on...

[lesters_gal]

^same tayo ng situation sis. sad.we've been together for 3 years and half.
kakainis nga kasi wala rin sya balls to fight for me and for our relationship....
masyadong spoiled sa kanila.only boy kasi....ang hirap kapag family ang against sa relationship nyo.i missed him.kaya lang iniisip ko na siguro mas maganda nalang yung nangyari kaysa in the end mag suffer kaming dalawa.

[papemelroti]

some relationships becomes successful some hindi.

pagnakaaral pa yun girl/guy in a chinese school baka mas okay. pero language and custom barriers exist when communicating with the older generation. dapat kasi approve ng parents mahirap kalabanin ang family. its not really about being a mamas boy/daddys girl. its about going against their families/clan  that they have no courage to do so: pag ganun iwan mo na. hintayin mo and ikaw pa ang mag mukhang t****

[uniqlo_girl]

^ amen to that....

[clueless]

not first-hand experience but this is what happened to my sister...

she had a chinese boyfriend, they were planning to get married na and that's when she found out lang that the guy's parents didn't like her for him because she's filipina (though we're part chinese, like 1/8), threatened to disown the guy pa should he decide to still marry my sister.

i'm not sure if the guy was willing to fight for her but my sister decided to break up with him because if she had married him knowing how his family felt about her, she knew they wouldn't be happy. she was devastated that the relationship had to end but she felt it's for the better naman.

we're a closely-knit family and i think my sister was afraid na baka her future kids won't get to know their dad's side of the family and won't have the same concept of family like she does.

after this incident, dad became more strict with us girls. whenever he knew we were going out with some chinese guy, nakikiusap siya to stop seeing the guy because he didn't want us to go through what my sister did. he actually generalized that all chinese families were like that, which is not right but that's how he is.

but he said if the chinese prefer chinese for their kids, then ok lang for him not to prefer chinese for his filipina daughters. and think na lang daw how they sometimes all speak chinese tapos ikaw nakatunganga lang. it's hard to feel that you belong 100% (unless you probably learn how to speak the language). but this is just my dad ha, pero somehow ganyan na din thinking ko.

i have a male cousin married to a chinese girl and they're ok naman. though sometimes nagugulat kami sa girl kasi we're not used to how she does certain things.

but like m_lim said, chinese parents are more selective when it comes to who their sons will marry, not as much pag daughter.

but this is all case to case pa din. not all filipino-chinese relationships will fail, nor do they have higher probabilities of failing because of the fact that it's a "mixed" relationship. depends on the 2 persons pa din.

[m_lim]

ako sa mga kilala kong chinese guys, wala akong kilala na willing "kalabanin" ang family for their girlfriend.  though i have one chinese friend na may filipina girlfriend, yun nga lang, she's an Araneta. he he.

[clueless]

^ malamang nga. which i take as a good sign because it shows din how they value their family. if it were me, i wouldn't give up my family also.

[kowai]

waah. how complicated.
its a good thing my family isn't hardcore chinese.
but i face other problems...

[smoothie]

lucky me, since my hubby and his siblings all had [textspeak!]. gf/bf & they were not traditional.
hubby is chinese, i'm filipino. but it didn't matter to them we did not endure those "trials", even to his relatives. i'm actually more "chinese" than with my hubby. edge nga lang niya is that he can sort of converse in mandarin. hehe! (have to learn that in the future)

my friend's case is like your case. she's chinese, her parents are super traditional, super rich, her bf is a [textspeak!]. and a muslim...even before she had a bf, her parents already warned her and her siblings. that they will be disowned if ever they would end up with a filipino. the bf is super rich too. but sabi ng friend ko basta kailangan talaga na dapat chinese. so if ever the time comes, she would defend their relationship.

usually the parents concerns are if the bf/gf is only after the money, how would the guy run the business if [textspeak!]. siya, "ugali" ng mga fils., kamag-anak system of fils. (baka bigyan ng pera), the association meetings - how would the [textspeak!]. guy relate in those meetings.

[gab54]

mine is successful...   sad story but happy ending...
im chinese, my bf (now my hubby) is filipino. alam din naman ng parents ko, hindi ako basta basta naiin love, dami nang suitors with good qualities pero hindi ko talaga feel.
then one day i fell in love for the first time, kaya lang we are worlds apart. he's a filipino, im chinese. im maputi, hes kayumanggi. at that time, he was poor, i was rich. he graduated from unknown school, i graduated from la salle. he was unemployed, i already had a biz of my own. so on...
my parents forbid me to have filipino bf, and they couldnt see any redeeming factor. tingin nila, this filipino guy will just take advantage of me... bf and i endured everything and decided we will respect our parents, we wont marry until they approve. if we dont get it, we will remail bf-gf till we die. we wont leave each other and will stay in love no matter what happens.
however, our family biz underwent serious problem, bec i wanted to help my parents, i gave all my savings and biz funds to my parents, but in the end, their biz went bankrupt, all our assets were gone, my biz closed too bec i have no more funds. it was a painful time...
during this time of humiliation and downfall, my parents saw my bf not leaving me, in fact helped us in so many ways. most of all, when our big house was foreclosed, he offered their house in the province. with no place to go, no more friends, my parents & i went to live in their humble home for a few years. it was these times, my parents were convinced how good my bf and his family is. naging friends narin both our parents, in the end, parents ko pa ang nagsabi na i should marry my bf... today, favorite na ni mom si hubby, dad unfortunately died na, pero before he died, he praised my hubby for being a good man.
today, hubby & i are 11 years happily married. we are blessed with a daughter and a son. and we have our own successful biz. i thank God for giving me a happy ending...

[chungchuy]

Kung confident ka at kaya mong ipakita na comfortable ka around his family, at si boyfriend, ipinaglalaban ka at ang relationship niyo, I don't see why it can't work.

50% Chinese ako at nag-aral sa Chinese school for 12 years pero after my first Chinese boyfriend, wala na akong sinagot na Chinese suitors. I dunno... I found them too... clannish. Ewan ko kung sa Pilipinas lang yan, kasi yung mga full Chinese dito sa Canada, di naman ganyan. Nung nasa Pilipinas pa ako, may suitor nga ako na nasa getting-to-know-you stage palang kami, bina-background check na ako. Ang daming tanong sa family ko. Kaya ayun na-turn off ako.

[muahmuahmuah]

Mine lasted 3 years. We were together in Manila for several months and it carried on even when I flew to someplace else. He visited me pa and kept calling lagi. Pero it fizzled out din on reaching the third year.

While in Manila we had to be careful, we couldn't  go to places na alam nyang may kakilala sya. We'd alwasy be somewhere near my area (South of Manila), when he took me to Tagaytay we settled for McDonalds kasi nakita nya at a couple of restaurants na madaming tao talagang from the parking umikot lang kami and one time the sister saw us having lunch together in Makati. Kaya hangout nalang namin lagi Brothers burger sa Alabang.

It was hard, dami di pwede.  Pag nalaman ng family nya na he was seeing a Filipina all the relatives would pull out from his business, yun ang kinakatakot nya and he couldn't afford the risk.

[sistah!]

ilang taon ka na sis?

i met my chinese guy when i was 17 and we did the whole "you and me against the world" drama. his parents wanted him to have a chinese girlfriend and because of that, my parents didnt like him for me na rin. anyway, we swam for as long as we did. a little before we graduated from college, his parents (particularly his dad) sat him down and told him to break up with me. he refused and his brother backed him up on it, told their dad to let us be. i was crying everyday because of the uncertainty. para kasing we didnt know how we would survive without the comfort of the same campus, how would we manage to see each other, how would we live our lives after? there was a lot of pressure on his part, he really fought for me. eventually, his mom started setting him up on dates with her friends' daughters. i guess it was after that that i gave up na. we were together for four years. we're still friends now, though not very close. he's 27 now, wala pa rin syang girlfriend.

[kowai]

i think this is ridiculous by the way.
being worlds apart
either your filipino or chinese aren't you still HUMAN either way?
haha...just a thought.

[paulavalerie]

i never had a  chinese bf. pero yung mga nakak adate ko now is puro chinese. pero ayoko maging bf sila kasi dami ko na naririnig na stories na ayaw ng parents pag di din chinese yung girl. ayoko naman maging you and me against the world ang drama namin

[m_lim]

agree with kowai. kaya bwiset na bwiset ako sa isang college friend ko na panay Filipina ang kinukuhang girlfriend, tago naman ng tago. ano yan highschool?! naka Benz nga, wala namang b*lls paglaban kung anong gusto niya. hindi sa kalabanin ang pamilya eh. pero taking charge of your own life! hello?! 24 yrs old ka na. wala ka paring diskarte. gosh.

[eggerpuffer]

there are some chinese who just dont get in a relationship with a filipino. it's not that they make the conscious effort to tell themselves "oh filipino yan bawal" but it's just their nature. it's not being judgemental on the part of the chinese but i think it's just that they were brought up a certain way and that once they see a filipino they automatically put him/her in the friends only list.