The first time I ever felt as if I were in a movie was when I ordered chicken from a fastfood place a few years back. As the perky cashier asked me what chicken part I preferred, I said, “Drumstick, please.” The cashier stared back and me, with an expression that said, “Are you crazy?” Then she said, “Ma’am, ano yan? Hindi po kami music store.” At that point, I got dizzy and heard canned laughter playing in my head. The movie I thought I was in? Dumb and Dumber—with me in a forgettable supporting role.
Today, I feel like I’m in another movie—Outbreak. Remember that 1995 movie which starred Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo, and Kevin Spacey? It had a monkey spreading an Ebola-like virus that left hordes of people dead. Well, I haven’t seen any monkey roaming the streets lately but I’ve gotten a flu-like bug for the third time in three months. What the hell is wrong with me? Do I have Ebola-redux?
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As I bent down to drink from the water fountain, I heard the cellphone in my hand ring.
“Hello? Nasa’n ka?” asked H.
“Sa may Edsa Walk,” I replied, referring to one of the walkways at school.
“Diyan ka lang, pupuntahan kita,” he said before hanging up.
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Everyday can be a cinematic moment to me. My work is always swamped with deadline party stories. Article deadlines are like Pinoy super heroes, simply because no matter how many times I beat a deadline, another one has taken over. Just like in Pinoy movies—no matter how many fights and shooting scenes there are, the hero never dies.
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“Alam mo kung bakit ka iniwan ni Robert? It’s because you’re very, very sick. More than a dreaded disease! At wala pang nahahanap na gamot diyan. You have no brain. Boba!”
This is one of my favorite dialogues from a local film. I don’t remember who delivered it, but isn’t it just so juicy and catty? Ah, the vicious catfight, classic girl on girl action. It might not have the phallic toys, but boys still love to watch it, and women revel in its exchange of uniquely female ferocity.
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