FN Blog - Seven heads are better than one!

I don’t want to write about the real things I’m scared of (sickness, being buried alive, etc.), because I so don’t want to attract negative vibes. So allow me to present a rundown of the things that I am unreasonably afraid of:

1. The mighty ipis!
Hands-down, this tops the list of things that freak me out. I’m not really afraid of mice (I’m not really fond of them either, but then, who is?) or frogs or even snakes. But roaches? *shudder* I am especially afraid of the flying kind! But even the crawlers are enough to reduce me to a squealing pansy. Joe’s Apartment is my worst nightmare—I can’t even bring myself to watch that movie because my mind plays tricks on me and I start imagining the creatures crawling all over me. Eyew! Eyew! Eyew!

I know I’m bigger than they are. But the thing about roaches is they know no fear! Instead of running away from you, they actually crawl towards you. (Or perhaps they just sense my fear and like to taunt me.) I have never, ever killed a roach on purpose. There was just this one time I walked into a dark room and felt something both crunchy and squishy under my shoe. Eyew! Eyew! Eyew!

People at home are so used to me by now. When they’d hear me screaming late at night, they calmly come to my rescue with some insecticide even when I don’t say anything about ipis!

2. Matches
It’s not like I’d by hysterical if I saw a matchbox in front of me. I just can’t light matches to save my life. I don’t like the idea of having fire so close to my skin. I keep thinking that if I strike a match, it would snap in half, the burning edge would fall somewhere, and burn everything down. It may seem silly to you, but I tried lighting a match once in school—it broke in half and fell on one of my folders, burning the plastic cover. I just don’t do matches.

3. Mimes
I used to have a morbid fear of clowns. Maybe it was partly because of Pennywise from Stephen King’s It. In recent years, the fear has waned, to be replaced by a fear of mimes. It’s not a big, big fear (I’d rather be stuck in a room with a mime than an ipis…no, wait…), but there’s something about a voice-less dude with a painted face and exaggerated actions that gets to me. It’s like I want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and yell, “Say something!” But I’d be too scared to go near him…

How do you mime, “You’re freaking me out!”?

4. Dumbo Octopus
H was watching Discovery Channel and they were showing all these deep-sea creatures. When this came on, I just started freaking out! “What the hell is that?!” I kept yelling at the TV. It’s called a Dumbo Octopus (scientific name: Grimpoteuthis)—I didn’t even know that; I was too freaked out to pay attention to the show. But when I was researching about the different types of octopi, I just typed in what it reminded me of! I remember going, “Why does it have ears?!” like it was a cruel joke of nature. (Note: They’re actually large fins that help the creature swim.)

This is pretty much related to my fear of deep water. It’s not just the fear of drowning—it’s that you don’t know what’s down there! And don’t even get me started on my freshwater-creature fears (there’s the monstrous arapaima for one).

No, this is not a computer-generated image!

5. Baptismal dresses
This is perhaps the weirdest fear that I have. I hate seeing baptismal dresses with no baby in them! You know, when they’re just on a hanger, resting innocently on a rack or on a cabinet handle. It really freaks me out! I think it’s because of their structure—you’ve got a normal-sized bodice for the baby, but the rest of it is just super long. I know it’s supposed to cascade gracefully when the baby wears it, but when I see it baby-less, I imagine a baby with super long legs. Creepy!!!

My weirdest fear