femalenetwork.com

Nobody’s perfect. Once we all accept that, there’s probably no need to go very far to make ourselves look good. Come to think of it, shouldn’t we be satisfied as long as we’ve got clean bodies, neat hair, simple but stylish clothes, perhaps some makeup, and a splash of cologne? We should, shouldn’t we? But then some of us may still want more changes.

What Divine Providence cannot give, we take upon ourselves to acquire through cosmetic surgery—whether it’s a nose job, breast augmentation, liposuction, or something else. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy or painless as Snooky Serna putting on her blusang itim. This road to “beauty” has its risks.

Cynthia Rusher found that out the hard way. An American living here with her husband Ralph, they managed a resort in Palawan. She had been thinking about having cosmetic surgery done on her breasts. Her husband gave her his support and even helped her look for the person who would do it—a Filipino cosmetic surgeon in Manila recommended to them by his business associate. She soon paid him a visit.

“I was apprehensive at first,” she says, “but he assured me that he was very experienced with the saline solution implant procedure. I didn’t want silicone implants because they had been banned in the U.S. and I didn’t want to ask for trouble.”

She says she finally went for it, expecting a breast uplift and a size increase to 34C. instead, she got deformed and lopsided breasts, one bigger than the other and a few sizes too big. He also manipulated the size of her nipples to make them smaller, leaving a lot of scars in the process.

Laments Cynthia, “All my life I have never had scars or stretch marks on my body. I have kept a good figure, never had children, nor has my weight gone up and down. All these marks on my body are man-made.”

A few weeks later, she confronted him about her misshapen breasts and the throbbing pain she had been feeling after the procedure. She was assured that the swelling and pain would diminish after 6 months. “But after more than 5 months, the pain wasn’t wearing off. I could not even wear undergarments or resume my physical exercises or sports,” she says.

She has since gone back to the U.S. to have the implants removed. She has consulted two plastic surgeons in Florida from whom she found out the cost of removing the implants—US$10,000—to steep for her, but she was determined to go for it. “To get my normal life back,” she says, “I must have these implants removed as soon as possible.”

Tess Ruiz (not her real name) also regrets having undergone rhinoplasty, commonly known as a “nose job,” three years ago. “What I really regret most,” she relates, “is that I went for it for the wrong reasons. I didn’t realize it then, but I wanted it so badly because I felt bad about myself. My boyfriend and I had just broken up and I couldn’t handle it, I guess. I felt depressed and wanted to make myself feel good by making myself more attractive. Kasi I thought that my nose was a little too big or wide, eh.”

Tess had set aside some money and decided to use part of it for the procedure. Unfortunately, she didn’t choose her surgeon well. She describes it as a small hole-in-the-wall clinic in Valenzuela. She had also read up on the procedure and felt that it was no big deal.

“It seemed to me that many people had already had it done—mga artista and singers pa lang eh—so it shouldn’t be a problem for me to have it done too,” she says. She was apprehensive about the conditions in the clinic but quickly dismissed them because she was told that the cosmetic surgeon there had done several successful procedures before. Looking back, she realized that the doctor was a little too eager to do the procedure on her. Soon after the operation, she had an inkling that there was already something wrong.

“It didn’t look right, like it was upturned on one side. And I knew there was going to be some pain, but somehow I had a feeling that the pain I felt that time was not normal. I was also having a hard time breathing. I still do. Most of the time I have to breathe through my mouth.”

Tess says she feels embarrassed about the result of the operation, brought about not only by the doctor’s incompetence, but also by her lack of thoroughness in checking out the doctor. This is why she has declined to reveal her identity or have her picture taken. “It’s bad enough that this has happened to me and that my friends and family know about it.”

Men are not exempt from ordeals like these. Dionisio Salvador and his wife met a motor accident in 1996 which left them with very visible scars on their faces. In 1998, they decided to see a cosmetic surgeon who would help them get rid of the scars. This surgeon was the same one who operated on Cynthia Rusher.

“He suggested that, aside from removing the scars, he could also get rid of my eyebags and give me a facelift,” Dionisio relates. “He promised that in 6 months’ time, I’d look younger by 20 years.”

The same promise was given to his wife. Both of them were delighted at the prospect of shaving off a few years from their physical appearance so they went for it. However, Dionisio claims that he knew something went wrong as soon as he woke up after the operation. “I woke up and I was bleeding—I was practically swimming in my own blood!” he recounts. “I could not see well, I could not breathe well, and my face was swollen. I thought for sure I was going to die… Then I found that during the operation, there was even one point when I had a cardiac arrest because the doctors were giving me something to help me breathe—a nebulizer of some sort—but I discovered that I was allergic to it. Good thing there was a cardiologist who stopped them from giving me that nebulizer any further. Soon, I was confined in the ICU.”

As soon as Dionisio was feeling better, he discovered that what he was promised was not what he got. He claims that instead of looking 20 years younger, he now looked at least 10 years older. And he had more problems.

“I’d be in tears because my eyes were stinging,” he relates. “Very painful at times. Even today, my eyes still hurt as if they were being stung.”

He also claims that his wife’s operation was also unsuccessful. But she has declined to talk about her experience. The couple has since had reconstructive surgery, although regrettably, Dionisio says, they will never look the way they did before the cosmetic surgery procedure. He, his wife, and Cynthia have since sued the doctor who, in turn, has been contesting all their claims.

The thing is, any surgical procedure has its own risks. This can be anything from developing deformities, to infections, to pulmonary emobolism and sometimes, even death. So says celebrity dermatologist and liposuction specialist Dr. Vicky Belo. This is why, she says, that any person who decides to go for cosmetic surgery of any kind must do her or his homework well.

“You have to be informed,” Dr. Belo advises. “(And) that’s what I’ve been trying to do—inform the public. Because in the Philippines, there’s hardly any information available on cosmetic surgery specialists that’s out there. [In our clinic], we always talk to our patients really well, because we feel that if they are well-informed, they are less fearful.”

But even if a procedure is successful, some patients can still encounter some discomfort and apprehension. Dr. Belo relates that some of her patients give her a look of relief after an operation, “as if they’re glad they’re still alive.”

With all these fears brought about by stories of botched-up jobs, why do people go through these procedures anyway?

“The most likely theme underlying these different reasons is that the person perceives that his or her face or body could use some improvement,” says psychologist and De La Salle University professor Dr. Alan Bernardo, “and that the perceived benefits of such improvements are thought to outweigh the perceived costs and risks.”

Dr. Bernadro explains that, for example, a woman whose husband is having an affair with a younger woman might perceive that her physical appearance is the reason for her husband’s infidelity. “She may want to keep her husband, and she thinks that having a liposuction and/or a facelift done might change her physical appearance. It may be that she thinks the risks involved are negligible compared to the benefits of keeping her husband back.”

Another example he cites is that of a singer who might think that her chances of getting high-paying contracts is affected by her girth or by her wide nose. “The promise of celebrity and fortune may be perceived as greatly outweighing the risks and costs involved in getting cosmetic surgery.”

Dr. Belo agrees that some patients do come in for surgery for “the wrong reasons—they’re depressed about something, they have a bad self-image,” she relates. “It’s one thing to be fat and to feel fat, you know. [They’ll say] ‘I just want out, I’ll feel better afterwards.’ There are also cosmetic junkies. They never stop. They already look good [but] they insist on having more done. They go shopping from doctor to doctor, because the ethical doctors will say ‘No, you don’t need it.’ And then they will go somewhere and they will make a mess out of it.”

Then again, Dr. Belo relates that there are also patients with hardly any self-image problems who come in anyway to have the procedures done just to make them feel good about themselves.

“I think Filipino women are becoming less martyr-like,” she observes. “They are more cosmopolitan, you know. They have fun. Doing what they want for themselves.”

Nevertheless, there still seems to be this preoccupation with looking good. Dr. Belo cites a study she came across earlier on the roots of this preoccupation with beauty.

“According to the book Survival of the Prettiest by Nancy Etcoff (Doubleday, 1999), the roots of this are really very deeply ingrained,” she shares. “It’s natural for people to [want to] look at beautiful things. Even babies. If you put pictures in front of them, they will look longer.”

And so, what now?

“It’s hard to make a general prescription at this point,” says Dr. Bernardo. “It’s naïve to say that ‘what’s inside is what counts.’ The fact is that our society puts a lot of premium on looks. Some people make money on looks alone. Some people make even more money pushing people to want to look a certain way. Our population literally flipped in jubilation when a Filipina nearly won, but still lost, an international beauty contest. Some movie actors don’t really know anything about acting. They just have pretty faces. This is obviously a very sad commentary on our society.”

Dr. Bernardo adds that even in our private lives, this fascination with the beautiful weights heavily on our decisions.

“In very subtle ways, parents are sometimes more affectionate and affirming to their ‘cute’ children, teachers may be more patient with the more attractive students, employees who are physically well-endowed might get away with more errors and inefficiencies than others, and so on and so forth. In such an environment, it is understandable if some people decide that cosmetic surgery will work to their advantage.”

For Dr. Bernardo, there are two things that need to be dealt with. “First, for some people, they perceive that cosmetic surgery and/or their physical characteristics is their only route to success and happiness. This rather narrow perspective on one’s well-being cannot be healthy in any perspective. These people need to be helped so that they may achieve a broader and healthier perspective about themselves. Second, for some people, access to cosmetic surgery may be too easy. Easy access to this option may not allow one to think and be as deliberate in making a decision. As a result, the consequences of the decision may not be considered as thoroughly.”

Dr. Bernardo explains that doctors can actually play a very important role in making decisions involving cosmetic surgery. He recommends that doctors make sure that their clients have carefully thought about all their options and their reasons for wanting surgery.

“If need be,” he adds, “the doctors should guide them through a deliberate and thoughtful reflection and decision-making process.” Dr. Belo agrees. “[In our clinic], we give them a video to watch so they’ll see what the procedure is like. We talk to them during consultation. Then we talk to them again before the procedure. ‘Do you really understand’ etc. Because then, they’re much more relaxed.”

And much more informed too. Dr. Belo reiterates that a thorough background check should be done by the patient on the surgeon and the procedure. Don’t hesitate to ask questions—find out how long they have been doing these operations and what their success rate is. Perhaps you can also ask some of the doctor’s patients for information. Unless you fully understand what you’re getting into, and why, there is no need to rush into it. In fact, don’t rush. Give yourself time to think about it very well.

If you decide that you do want to have that cosmetic procedure, Dr. Belo says that the change doesn’t end there. The surgery is only a shortcut. The real change has to happen inside you. What’s important is to have a healthy lifestyle, involving proper diet, exercise, and a positive outlook in life.

Don’t Go for Cosmetic Surgery If… You don’t really know what you want. A cosmetic surgeon’s office is not a beauty salon where you can just ask them what they think looks good on you.

You don’t have enough money. Dr. Vicky Belo once had a patient who went to her for a liposuction in the tummy area. She didn’t have enough money, so she requested Dr. Belo to just do the procedure on her puson. She advised the woman to come back when she had enough money to pay for the liposuction on the whole tummy. “It will look funny if you remove the puson and then you still have your bilbil!” says Dr. Belo.

You have a self-esteem problem. Did your boyfriend just leave you? Is your husband having an affair with a much younger, more beautiful woman? You’ll probably feel really bad about yourself because of that. You think “perhaps I’m not so beautiful to him anymore.” But cosmetic surgery is not the way to get him back. Chances are, he won’t even notice. You’ll just be more devastated. Just deal with him head on. There could be other reasons. But if he is such a boor and doesn’t realize what a precious human being you are, then it’s not worth reconstructing your body and your life just for someone like him.

You’re doing it for someone else, not yourself. Has your partner been bugging you for that boob job? Even if he says he’ll pay for it, it’s no reason to agree to have it done. You have to really want it for yourself. If you don’t, let him know there’s more to you than just your physical traits and that he should see that. If he doesn’t, goodbye!

Your doctor is rushing you into it. No good doctor will force you into having a procedure. Just make sure the doctor gives you all the pros and cons, explains the procedure, presents suggestions, and leaves you to make the final decision on your own.

You’re not planning a change of lifestyle as well. You can only have so much of any procedure! One patient of Dr. Belo’s had not changed her eating habits after she had her first liposuction. “She loved eating so much that she was gaining fat again,” relates Dr. Belo. “She told me, ‘Well I can always get a lipo!’” You can’t keep having a procedure forever. Proper diet, exercise, and overall body care are a must. Procedures like these are just shortcuts to a better-looking face and body. It will be up to you to maintain it.

Do You Have Body Dysmorphic Disorder? BDD is a preoccupation with physical deffects on one’s body, whether imagined or real. Even if what is present is only a slight physical abnormality, the person’s concern is markedly excessive. Most times, this is coupled with self-loathing and clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Aside from using articles of clothing and jewelry and make up in the hope of covering up the defects, most people with BDD resort to plastic or cosmetic surgery. However, this causes more trauma, making the BDD sufferer notice more “defects” which will therefore make her feel the need for more surgery. Just a bit more nip here…and a little more tuck there… The cycle seems to have no end.

When you feel horrified at the thought that your friends and family think you’re already beautiful while you actually feel you’re not, perhaps it’s time to seek some help. Talk it out with a friend. Seek the advice of a cosmetic surgeon. (Good cosmetic surgeons don’t normally hard-sell their services to you. They can usually tell you when enough is enough.) Or, if you wish, go see a psychiatrist who may be able to help you sort things out.

Remember to focus only on the positive. You have good traits too. Take a really good look at yourself and you may discover there’s more beauty in you than you ever realized.