When asked about the nature of their misunderstanding, Geoff only said, “May mga things lang na hindi kami sanay sa isa’t isa or things that are minsan mga bagay na okey sa’ken, ‘di okey sa kanya. May mga bagay na okey sa kanya, ‘di okey sa’ken.” In the end, both agreed that the experience taught them a lot about their relationship and that they were grateful to have gone through it.
Misunderstandings are common at the onset of any relationship. You might find yourself getting mildly irked when your man decides on what movie to watch without consulting you or when his mom decides where your next couple's weekend should be spent—simple things that could get blown out of proportion. The solution? Before you get in too deep, settle your issues to build a strong foundation for the progression of your relationship. Read on to see what five basic differences you should talk about with your man early on.
This is more than just about who’s footing the bill when you’re out on a date (although your answer to the, “Do we go dutch?” question is definitely important). Your views on money now may affect your relationship later on, so don’t be afraid to sit down with him and discuss money matters. Find out how he deals with finances and see if his views jive with yours—if they don’t, now’s the time to seek out a compromise. If you plan to share expenses, decide on who gets to be in charge of certain expenses, and if you're going to do the budget, do it together so that you’re always attuned to each other’s needs.
Tip: Dates out with your man don’t have to be expensive to be memorable! Save money by checking out these great budget date suggestions from FN. For more couple budgeting tips, click here.
2. TIME AND SPACE
Spending time together is a must for the growth of your relationship, but having time apart is just as important. So talk about how much of your schedule you’re to devote to each other from the get-go. This is especially important if your work schedules have the tendency to conflict. Set boundaries, but make sure to let the other know what you're up to when you're not together. This is to make sure that neither of you end up feeling ignored or neglected. At the same time, this keeps your possessiveness in check. Being aware of how much time you spend with your man means you won’t make him feel suffocated and vice versa.
3. LIFE GOALS/DIRECTION
Now this may be scary, but discuss your life plans with each other as soon as you enter the "this is serious" phase. How does he feel about your ambitions and vice versa? If you’re all set to be a career woman even after marriage, for example, how does he feel about it? If he’s not sure what his goal in life is just yet, are you all right with that? The most important part, though, is to plan your future together. Even if you want different things in life, as long as you can compromise and adapt to each other, you can still make your relationship work.
[Click here for life resolutions for you and your man]
Your family’s acceptance of your man is essential, but his family's acceptance of you is as equally crucial. Brief him on your family's 101 so that he’ll be prepared for when you first bring him home to meet the parents. Make sure you ask him about his so that you know what to expect if and when you visit his house in the future. If you and your man have any family-related issues (Is he a mama’s boy? Does your mom meddle too much in your relationship?), it’s also better to bring them up now so that you can set boundaries for each other (and for your parents and siblings as well).
Your man has his barkada and you have yours, which is all well and good, but how big an influence are your friends’ opinions when it comes to your love life? Make sure that you and your man both understand that when it comes to decisions about your relationship, you should be the ones who get to make the final decision. Before the relationship progresses, make sure both of you know about and are comfortable with what happens during his boys’ nights out with his barkada and your bonding dates with your girlfriends. Ask to be introduced to his friends (the same way you should introduce him to yours), because they could be a way of getting know more of your man's personality.
(Photos courtesy of PEP.ph)